This would be one thing if the guy was only, say, twelve years old. Or if they had been hanging out for longer than 45 minutes.
I can hear the taunting from here…. Cowboy Jim likes girls, oooooh!
But seriously, lying is better than admitting I would hang out with you.
What’s better than being taken out to dinner by your honey?
I’m all about being as frugal as possible, but if you’re taking someone out? Bitch can get a drank! If you’re that broke, take her on a long romantic walk.
Also, be kind to your waiters. Please don’t shout, “waiter!” Although in the context of this comic it is pretty perfect.
Here we are, on a beautiful moonlit night, wrapped in a passionate kiss.
Because I wouldn’t want you to think this is, like regular Coke or something. As long as we’re clear that this is the aspartame of affection! Nothing real or natural, no substance and no nutritional value. Then sure, you can pop fizz all over my face.
Don’t you love the getting-to-know-each-other phase? When you can ask all those questions about what pets you like, and where your favorite restaurant is, and whether you believe in soul mates?
I don’t know about you ladies, but I like to go into a first date armed with a list of things I won’t do. Somewhere between the salad and the entrée is usually the right time to mention things like, “You’re never going to do me in the butt, by the way.” If possible, try to wait until he’s taken a big gulp of his drink.