Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Category Archives: Hooking Up

There are several elements to this submission that (for me, at least) make it one of our most confusing, ever.

even though i don't want to

Wait a minute… did he just accuse her of being a rapist? Is she a rapist? If the genders were reversed, would we perceive this scenario differently? Somehow, since she was the one who submitted this quote, I suspect she had no idea he wasn’t into their physical relationship. But seriously. What the hell is going on there? Why was he having sex with her? Guys, gals, folks in between: don’t have sex with people you don’t want to have sex with! Relationships are complicated enough.

Or what if she was, like, his dominatrix or something, and this was part of their role play….

Happy September!  Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!

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To some people, I guess size really is everything.

Still your biggest

Well, let’s see, let me break out my measuring tape….

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


When Things My Ex Said and Tinder collide… the results are exactly what you’d expect.

thoughts on bondage

Music to bondage? Seems like a reasonable segue to me. Isn’t the “getting to know you” stage grand? At least he got right to the point.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


One thing I’m a big fan of in relationships is consistency.

tightest lay

Is the lesson here: how quickly one can forget the good times? Or how easy it is to lie when you’re trying to get laid?

Hope you’ve all got your tickets, because tonight’s final performance of Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret is sold out! Can’t wait to play to another packed house in Glasgow tonight! It’s been such a blast, and cannot wait to share some highlights with you folks online, very soon!


Want tickets to the gun show?

Watch me masturbate

…I didn’t think so. Quite frankly, dude, it’s not that hard to figure out. Pun intended.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Yes, that is what he’s referring to.

Just sit on it

Apparently sometimes having a big dick can make you a big dick. And that’s called hashtagnotworthit.

The dates have been set for Things My Ex Said: The Cabaret! I’ll be coming to the Grand Ballroom of Sloan’s on May 12th and 16th, at 7:30 PM, 62 Argyll Arcade, 108 Argyll Street, Glasgow, G2 8BG. Part of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland’s Candid Cabaret series. See your favorite quotes from the website come to life, paired with some bitchin’ 90s tunes!

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Adultery is totally cool, but don’t you dare take the name of our Lord in vain.

(click to enlarge)

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Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!



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