There are several elements to this submission that (for me, at least) make it one of our most confusing, ever.
Wait a minute… did he just accuse her of being a rapist? Is she a rapist? If the genders were reversed, would we perceive this scenario differently? Somehow, since she was the one who submitted this quote, I suspect she had no idea he wasn’t into their physical relationship. But seriously. What the hell is going on there? Why was he having sex with her? Guys, gals, folks in between: don’t have sex with people you don’t want to have sex with! Relationships are complicated enough.
Or what if she was, like, his dominatrix or something, and this was part of their role play….
Happy September! Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
To some people, I guess size really is everything.
Well, let’s see, let me break out my measuring tape….
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
When Things My Ex Said and Tinder collide… the results are exactly what you’d expect.
Music to bondage? Seems like a reasonable segue to me. Isn’t the “getting to know you” stage grand? At least he got right to the point.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
One thing I’m a big fan of in relationships is consistency.
Is the lesson here: how quickly one can forget the good times? Or how easy it is to lie when you’re trying to get laid?
Hope you’ve all got your tickets, because tonight’s final performance of Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret is sold out! Can’t wait to play to another packed house in Glasgow tonight! It’s been such a blast, and cannot wait to share some highlights with you folks online, very soon!
Want tickets to the gun show?
…I didn’t think so. Quite frankly, dude, it’s not that hard to figure out. Pun intended.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
Yes, that is what he’s referring to.
Apparently sometimes having a big dick can make you a big dick. And that’s called hashtagnotworthit.
The dates have been set for Things My Ex Said: The Cabaret! I’ll be coming to the Grand Ballroom of Sloan’s on May 12th and 16th, at 7:30 PM, 62 Argyll Arcade, 108 Argyll Street, Glasgow, G2 8BG. Part of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland’s Candid Cabaret series. See your favorite quotes from the website come to life, paired with some bitchin’ 90s tunes!
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
Adultery is totally cool, but don’t you dare take the name of our Lord in vain.
(click to enlarge)
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
You meet someone you like. You crush for a long time. They like you back. Sparks! Victory! Hurrah!
You go on a date. At the end of the night, the moment comes…
Seriously, what is the point? Only prudish granny kissing, please! And when we hold hands, if yours could go for the “limp noodle”, that’d be great.
…And get those fingers out of my hair.
You know what really turns me on? Whining.
Why don’t you whine some more and then I’ll go slip into something a little more comfortable.
This guy probably had the best of intentions… but he loses all points in the delivery.
“Get ready, because I’m marking you as mine. Your body is about to go to from wonderland to wasteland in five…four…three…two…”
Let’s just hope he can chill out enough to stop thinking of “all other men” while they’re in the bedroom.
thingsmyexsaid 