Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Tag Archives: reality check

Folks, what’s up with using other people to masturbate? Come on now.

Mind if I fart?Nothing like skipping ahead to the “comfortably disillusioned” phase right away!

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To some people, I guess size really is everything.

Still your biggest

Well, let’s see, let me break out my measuring tape….

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


When I was younger, I used to think the stereotype of the insufferable mother-in-law was just that: a stereotype. But the more I observe, and the more quotes I receive from readers, the more I wonder whether the issue may actually be more of a two-way street. Ladies, you seem to like to hate on mothers on this site! (And men, you like to make inappropriate physical assertions… but that’s a rant for another day.) I have to say, in the wake of Mother’s Day last weekend, that kind of grinds my gears.

just like your mother

I don’t know what annoys me more: that it’s supposed to be topical and funny to compare a man to his mother, or that the artist shaded this woman’s chin like she’s got a hefty hipster beard growing in. Maybe this man’s mother is a serial killer, or maybe she has Tourette’s, or is a kleptomaniac, or has anger management problems that render the comparison unlikely and droll. But if I was his mother, I’d want him to be a chip off the old block!

. . . Uh oh. Does that mean that I’m going to be like his mother? Or this mother? Oh, Mother.

Things My Ex Said: The Cabaret had a fabulous opening on Monday night! Pictures to come! Still one more chance to see the show, this Friday at 7:30 PM!


Boys, as Christmas approaches. . . Whenever we say “Oh, don’t be silly, you don’t need to get me anything,” it means “I want to be so special to you that you had to get me something, even though I pretended not to be materialistic when I was trying to get you to stop playing video games and kiss me the other day.” That is what it means.

Consider today’s quote a cautionary tale.

Didn't get me anything for my birthday

I don’t blame you for not finding the right gift amongst the Spongebob Squarepants socks and blindingly neon lingerie of the mall, but how about flowers, you lazy f*ck?


The narration here is actually still from the original comic. But the idiocy was all his.

How do I look?

The only time this answer is appropriate is when she chooses to dress as Lolita for Halloween. But…if she chooses to dress as Lolita for Halloween? Run.

Also, I love that the chick in the original comic was planning to use her gaping keyhole dress to manipulate Joe into doing…something. And everything has exclamation marks!


Suddenly, things took a serious turn.

Click to Enlarge!

Click to Enlarge!

And no, I didn’t make this up.



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