How was everyone’s Valentine’s Day? Sometimes, holidays or birthdays and the-like can be built up to the point where you end up feeling a let down. Like the disappointing birthday card in Cards Against Humanity. And then maybe you have a fight. Anybody have a V-Day like that? And then you inevitably try to talk to your significant other about what went wrong…
And sometimes, instead of a resolution, you come to an impasse like this:
Nope. That is not a real apology.
Get yer chocolate ready and start yer engines! It’s nearly lovin’ time!
Ah, romance. Another year of love.
Starting to itch yet? VD is almost upon us!
Batten down the hatches, lonely people! It’s going to be a stormy weekend.
Happy Tuesday! How many of you are city dwellers? The struggle is real.
Dating outside your borough? Look at your life, look at your choices.
That’s right. Five whole days until it’s impossible to get a restaurant table. And forget getting seen with any of your new friends, making Saturday plans on Valentine’s Day just adds a whole new level of complicated to a casual or pre-what-are-we-conversation relationship. Best avoided. I recommend volunteering to babysit for your coupled-and-progenied friends!
And there’s this.
It’s that time of year, again! When your eyes are assaulted by red and pink in all the shop windows, and when the conditioning to associate chocolate with sex kicks into high gear. (Man, I could use some chocolate, right about now…)
It’s almost Valentine’s Day! And in honor of that, we here are TMXS are taking off our lazy hat and putting on our re-purpose apron. That’s right, we are going to give you a countdown to the big day itself, when we will introduce our first new comic of 2015!
Remember this?
And it’s not that I’ve been totally lazy, if you’re wondering where the regular posts went. (Dare I flatter myself that you’ve wondered?) In the few months since regular updates stopped happening I moved countries, fulfilled two separate performance contracts in different states and saw a workshop production of a show that I’m writing go up across the pond. #humblebrag
But really the reason why I took a break was a nice dose of heartache. No, not another failed attempt at a relationship (although that happened, too), but some genuine TMXS-related heartache. We got rejected for a grant that would have made TMXS: The Series become reality right at your fingertips, and after riding that roller coaster of emotions it was time for a little break.
But like anyone who ignores the notion that insanity is the doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, we’re back! After all, isn’t that what love is all about?
Sometimes, it’s just nice to know you’re appreciated.
Chances are, that could be true. In fact, I think I’ve even seen quirky Valentine’s cards with the same sentiment written on them. But unless you get away with that kind of humor, you don’t get away with that kind of humor. And since this quote got submitted to Things My Ex Said, I’m guessing he didn’t get away with it, in the long run.
Happy Valentine’s Day! One year ago today this little blog was born. And what a year it’s been! I couldn’t have done it, quite literally, without all of you. Thank you for your quotes and your input! Hopefully we’ve all had a chance to laugh at some cringe-worthy memories and make them a little less painful.
Coming up in 2014 we’ve got some big plans for Things My Ex Said! Stay tuned for guest artists, new levels of horrible exes, and so much more. But first, in honor of the Day of Love, here is the grossest, weirdest, least romantic quote I may have ever read.
(click to enlarge)
The non sequitur. The presumption. The….herpes. Who is this person, and how do we keep him from ever telling someone she is “going to have to learn to love” his herpes, ever again? Listen, guy: It doesn’t matter which hole you’re aiming for. Keep that diseased stick and it’s entitled attitude zipped up.
Nobody is going to learn to love your herpes until you love yourself. Happy Valentine’s Day!
It you are having doubts about your relationship, ladies, remember to check your meds first.
Wow honey, you’re right! This doesn’t have anything to do with us as a couple, and your avoidance of answering my question clearly means nothing! It’s just my silly lady hormones clouding my brain and making me moody again! How could I ever take care of myself without you?
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid! And don’t forget to check back tomorrow for the final installment in our Valentine’s Day Countdown!
You gotta love the break ups that are full of flattery. “Oh my God. You smell amazing! No no no, don’t get any closer to me or I might throw up. But that smell… wow! You should be really happy with yourself.”
Break Ups 101: Don’t spend the first part of your break up conversation making out with your target.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid! And don’t forget to check back tomorrow for the next installment in our Valentine’s Day Countdown!
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