Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Category Archives: Drugs

I love a good non sequitur as much as the next geeky humorist, but this one makes no sense.

Drink was druggedExcuse me, miss? He wasn’t talking about anything funny. Unless you’re so disturbed by his news that the only response your brain can handle is to completely deny reality, there’s no reason or excuse for having that be your reply. Shame on you.

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A person’s body is their own business, but I do think important for partners to be on the same page when it comes to stuff like illegal substances.

YOU DIDN'T ASK

“Hi honey. Did you get high last night? Want some breakfast to take the edge off that comedown? Or maybe a blowjob?”

Classic addict behavior. Turns the situation around to insinuate that it’s her fault she didn’t know he took drugs. What else is he keeping from her? And how many times has this happened before? Was it his first time smoking pot, or his fourth time out of rehab?

Or maybe she wanted to know because she was upset not to be a part of the action. Either way, sharing is caring.


It you are having doubts about your relationship, ladies, remember to check your meds first.

You must be on birth control.

Wow honey, you’re right! This doesn’t have anything to do with us as a couple, and your avoidance of answering my question clearly means nothing! It’s just my silly lady hormones clouding my brain and making me moody again! How could I ever take care of myself without you?

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid! And don’t forget to check back tomorrow for the final installment in our Valentine’s Day Countdown!


People like this guy give marijuana a bad rep.

smoking weed makes me love you

Guess what? I like to drink coffee, but it doesn’t make me tolerate you thinking I’m really that dumb. If she wants you to love her, it’s the responsible thing to encourage and enable you? That’s love? Sounds more like a threat.

Ain’t nobody buying your brand of skunky bullshit today.


Okay, so you know the old archetype of the artist and his muse? Well, who doesn’t secretly want to be a muse, really? I mean, when it comes down to it, wouldn’t it be pretty cool to inspire some hot, passionate person to create a work of art that reflects the awesomeness that is you? And all you have to do is sit there and be your fabulous self? Sign me up, right?

Or have you ever had that moment when you’re dating a musician and he plays you the new beautiful love song he’s written, and you think “Oh my gawd, this song is about me!” (a la the drunk girl from family guy)–until you get to the end of the song and it is, in fact, about a whiskey bottle?

Do you ever have that ex who thinks that just by the virtue that he made something, you would care? I mean, he’s feeling all these really deep feelings and expressing them and stuff, so it must be something that would interest you. And then this happens:

Screenplay in Rehab

Congratulations, you wrote a story about yourself. Now here’s a hint: you’re not that interesting.

I know, I know, perhaps I’m not giving this one the benefit of the doubt. I mean, he tried and all. And clearly I’m all about that expressing yourself achieving catharsis garbage. But seriously? Seriously? You thought this would work?

Seems like when the moment comes and that song really is about you, 9 times out of 10 you would have been better off writing it yourself. Then at least it would be your crappy song.


It’s the beginning of March Madness! And in honor of that, today’s quote celebrates the crazies. If someone ever says this to you in complete seriousness, get out. They’re totally f*cking creepy.Lose time wm


good to see you - pills wm

If anyone ever says this to you, run.



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