Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Tag Archives: bad dates

Hey there, reader. It’s Heather here, the creator of ThingsMyExSaid. Some of you have maybe  noticed some serious cartoon silence on my end here over the past few months. It wasn’t you, it was me. And I’m still taking some time. But I wanted to reach out and let you guys know some of the cool developments that are going on behind the scenes here at TMXS.

First of all- it speaks so much about you guys and the content  readers like you  have provided for this website, that despite my complete and utter lack of posting or publicizing, we’re still getting several hundred visitors a month! And the quotes keep coming! If you’ve submitted a quote in the last several months, just know it didn’t go unnoticed and it’s safely incubating in our giant quote database, faring much better than all the houseplants I’ve neglected over the years.

The main reason the website has been so quiet is we’ve been planning our official launch celebration   in New York City- more details to come on that later. Just expect some fun and wacky shenanigans coming up around the New Year.

In the meantime, because I am that needy,  I have a request: What are these two men are conversing about  in this 1950s romance comic? I invite you to post in the comments section below.

What are these men talking about? You decide!

What are these men talking about? You decide!

Cheers!


Folks, what’s up with using other people to masturbate? Come on now.

Mind if I fart?Nothing like skipping ahead to the “comfortably disillusioned” phase right away!


Everybody moves at their own pace when it comes to relationships. Sometimes, you fall into step with someone easily. Other times, it’s too fast or too slow. Are you waltzing while they’re doing the tango? Or the foxtrot?

In the case of this reader, here, I do have to agree that if you can’t tell after 5 months whether you love someone, the answer is probably no.

Spent enough time togetherLooks like they had spent enough time together to come to the relationship’s conclusion.


It’s that time of year, again! When your eyes are assaulted by red and pink in all the shop windows, and when the conditioning to associate chocolate with sex kicks into high gear. (Man, I could use some chocolate, right about now…)

It’s almost Valentine’s Day! And in honor of that, we here are TMXS are taking off our lazy hat and putting on our re-purpose apron. That’s right, we are going to give you a countdown to the big day itself, when we will introduce our first new comic of 2015!

Remember this?

don't count if you're drunk

And it’s not that I’ve been totally lazy, if you’re wondering where the regular posts went. (Dare I flatter myself that you’ve wondered?) In the few months since regular updates stopped happening I moved countries, fulfilled two separate performance contracts in different states and saw a workshop production of a show that I’m writing go up across the pond. #humblebrag

But really the reason why I took a break was a nice dose of heartache. No, not another failed attempt at a relationship (although that happened, too), but some genuine TMXS-related heartache. We got rejected for a grant that would have made TMXS: The Series become reality right at your fingertips, and after riding that roller coaster of emotions it was time for a little break.

But like anyone who ignores the notion that insanity is the doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, we’re back! After all, isn’t that what love is all about?


Why can’t’ we all just be one big happy family?

She's smarter than you

 

Okay. Speaking as someone who’s been that ex you’ve had to go out to dinner with, just go! Then you can act really rude to her and end up making her cry on the subway ride home. Not that that’s happened to me….

But seriously, what was this guy thinking? He might as well as have said “she’s’ hotter than you”. He’s going to have to kiss ass for a couple weeks to smooth over this one.

Keep up with rehearsal progress for Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret on our facebook page! We’ve got out first full run-thru tomorrow. Sneak peeks to come!

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!

 


A person’s body is their own business, but I do think important for partners to be on the same page when it comes to stuff like illegal substances.

YOU DIDN'T ASK

“Hi honey. Did you get high last night? Want some breakfast to take the edge off that comedown? Or maybe a blowjob?”

Classic addict behavior. Turns the situation around to insinuate that it’s her fault she didn’t know he took drugs. What else is he keeping from her? And how many times has this happened before? Was it his first time smoking pot, or his fourth time out of rehab?

Or maybe she wanted to know because she was upset not to be a part of the action. Either way, sharing is caring.


Either she is fierce, or he needs to calm down.

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

I’m sorry. You’re cooking for her? And you’re cooking something that requires some kind of preparation? I think you’re doing just fine. And if not… I’ll eat it! Just saying.


This would be one thing if the guy was only, say, twelve years old. Or if they had been hanging out for longer than 45 minutes.

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

I can hear the taunting from here…. Cowboy Jim likes girls, oooooh!

But seriously, lying is better than admitting I would hang out with you.


What’s better than being taken out to dinner by your honey?

Don't order a drink

I’m all about being as frugal as possible, but if you’re taking someone out? Bitch can get a drank! If you’re that broke, take her on a long romantic walk.

Also, be kind to your waiters. Please don’t shout, “waiter!” Although in the context of this comic it is pretty perfect.


It’s April Fool’s Day! So we thought you’d enjoy seeing one of the more foolish first-date quotes we’ve had submitted. When an attempt at a compliment goes very, very wrong…

funny 'cause you're fat wm

We give extra points for her sassy comeback line!



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