Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Tag Archives: boyfriends

As I’m sure we all agree, many a relationship has been saved in semantics.

Just kidding.

I said you were thick

Hmmm. Maybe he’s calling her dumb? Somehow I think that’s worse.


Sometimes, we all need some space.

I need some space

Sometimes, taking that space makes you an insensitive jerk.

 


Sometimes, it’s just nice to know you’re appreciated.

puts up with you

Chances are, that could be true. In fact, I think I’ve even seen quirky Valentine’s cards with the same sentiment written on them. But unless you get away with that kind of humor, you don’t get away with that kind of humor. And since this quote got submitted to Things My Ex Said, I’m guessing he didn’t get away with it, in the long run.


If you’ve been following TMXS for any length of time, you may have found yourself wondering, “Wow, I wonder what it’s like to actually date this crazy woman? Does anyone dare to? They must just be terrified to say anything in front of her!”

Aren't that interesting

Yep, I’m an asshole, too.

Men I date post TMXS seem to fall into one of 2 categories:
1. They become obsessed with the idea that everything they say will show up on this website. To which the answer is simple: don’t say anything asinine, and you’re safe! Also, luckily, submissions from readers like you are what actually keep this site going. Even my love life isn’t so sad as to warrant 3 quotes a week for 15 months.

2: They are so determined to show me how okay they are with this website, that they submit their own quotes of shitty things their exes have said. This *may* have become my new favorite way to flirt.

Planning a trip to Scotland this month? Of COURSE you are! Come see me bring your favorite quotes to life in ThingsMyExSaid: the Cabaret! May 12th and 16th, 7:30 PM in the Grand Ballroom at Sloan’s Glasgow. Part of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland’s Candid Cabaret Series.


Okay. Let’s get one thing straight. She looks good.

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

Don’t criticize my hair. That’s my mother’s job.


Welp, it’s important to know what you want.

No matter how mad

Because it doesn’t matter what I may say or do–as long as this is the sitcom where no matter how badly I screw up I still get laid? Life will be good.


You know what? Sometimes guys aren’t mean. Sometimes they think you’re smokin’ hot.

CLICK TO ENLARGE!

CLICK TO ENLARGE!

No, guy. I think the question is, what else are you looking for? Because that nice body probably has a nice person inside. Or at least a nice face.


It’s ThingsMyExSaid‘s 100th post!! Oh my gosh! We’re so old! And to celebrate, I thought what better way than to share one of my personal favorites. I’ve been saving this one for a special day. I think you can guess why.

Quotes for your website

Note to self: if he’s making it onto this website before he’s your ex, he should be your ex.

Got a quote you’d like to share? Send in your quotes and see that lemon of an ex turned into comedic lemonade!


Fair enough.

Click to Enlarge

Click to Enlarge

No, certainly not. Why would she do that?

But seriously. If there were ever an excuse for being a bitch, isn’t “you cheated on me” the case?


Continuing the saga from Wednesday…

You're not perfect

I’ll settle for you, baby.



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