Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Monthly Archives: June 2014

To some people, I guess size really is everything.

Still your biggest

Well, let’s see, let me break out my measuring tape….

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It’s good for people to understand their priorities in relationships.

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This has got to be one of the hands down worst ways of explaining to someone that she isn’t pretty enough to be your girlfriend. Also, this whole list thing is just pretty cringe-y in general. Might as well call this “10 Things I Wish I Loved About You.”

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


In every casual dating situation, there comes that moment when it’s time to take the next step and become exclusive.

…Or not.

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May that little hardened lump of carbon bring him much happiness. This lady will never look at the Tiffany’s shop window in the same way again.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


I love a good non sequitur as much as the next geeky humorist, but this one makes no sense.

Drink was druggedExcuse me, miss? He wasn’t talking about anything funny. Unless you’re so disturbed by his news that the only response your brain can handle is to completely deny reality, there’s no reason or excuse for having that be your reply. Shame on you.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Ah, modern standards of beauty.

Wendy's girl

“You’re no cartoon face of a corporate brand, but I could still eat.”

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


There are just some things you can’t re-gift. Check that. There are many things you can’t re-gift.

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Seriously, guy, what part of that seemed like a good idea? No, she doesn’t want your ex-girlfriend’s bling. No, she doesn’t want to know you keep your ex-girlfriend’s bling. Yes, you’re probably going to have to surprise her with a real present to make up for this.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


It’s always extra awkward to break up with someone around a major holiday or birthday, anniversary, etc. But when you add in the complication of a terrible disease? The rules of conduct just don’t exist.

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You want to feel bad for her. And him. But not him. But her. But him. But fuck him! But how can you say fuck him? He has cancer! My brain! It’s melting! My compassion doesn’t know what to do with this situation! I’m going cross-eyed.

How about this. Don’t use people? Period. Live life to the fullest extent you can, and if your fullest life isn’t envisioned with that supportive person, let that person go. Or if you get a new chance at life, live it with integrity… but maybe figure it out before you accept all the birthday presents.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!



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