Surprise! You’re the “other woman”.
Listen. When I took you out to dinner and brought you home, I thought you were doing that with the knowledge that my soon-to-be-ex-wife will be stopping by in the morning to pick up more of her stuff. Oh, and please disregard her panties hanging up to dry in the bathroom. You didn’t know I still had a wife? Well. That’s your fault. You should have checked my facebook relationship status.
It’s really inconvenient when you make me have to destroy the evidence.
I mean, I’d love to share all these conversations with you, but you think I’m being a shifty bastard.
I’m sure the first question you asked when you got up this morning was, how does social media affect the men who want to tell us what to do?
No, my dear. You’re missing the point. You don’t get to tell your girlfriend what to wear. Although, maybe we could make a new song, “If you like it then you should have put some pants on it…” But then, of course, she’d be wearing the pants.
Lesson of the day: if you have to seek someone out to announce that you’re over them, you’re not.
thingsmyexsaid 