We’re back! And don’t worry, we’re keeping it classy.
I wonder if he found them.
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Luckily enough, all of my relationships have failed so quickly they’ve never come to divorce. So I really don’t know anything about it. But honestly, this seems pretty whack.
The “good” news? He’s on his second lawyer now. And somewhere in between all the property, claims, and collateral damage are two broken hearts.
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This is the male version of playing dress up:
“You’re fun to play dress up in, but I wouldn’t actually wear you to the prom.”
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Not to knock the power of prayer, or any sort of spirituality… But when you’re dissolving an engagement, the futility of your messages to God aren’t going to make her feel any better.
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Yeah, “sorry” isn’t gonna cut it, either.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
If you’re as big a fan of Arrested Development as I am, you know there are few things better than a good incest joke. But perhaps not when the butt of the joke is you.
Okay. first of all, would anyone even question why two people have the same last name? I mean, you’re married. Duh. Second of all, why is that funny? And if you aren’t married and have the same last name–well, that’s cool, but you might want to just double check that family tree and be sure. And 3rd of all…. does he really think that’s clever? You might want to look into whether there’s something to be said for kissing cousins and IQ, after all.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
I sure seem to get a lot of quotes that touch on this theme. Makes me wonder. . . how many dates with a douche does it take to get to this point? One? Two? Three? Ten? It’s like the tootsie pop riddle for the new millennium.
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I’m going to venture that no, she doesn’t.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid! And stay tuned next week for all-new comics by our first guest artist!
If somebody actually “allows” you to do this, maybe it’s not the right circumstance to say thank you. I think that’s gotta be the kind of thing where you push it deep under the rug and never talk about it again.
. . .Do you think he said please?
Okay. I think this one needs more explanation. Like, did she actually allow him an affair? Does she get to have one now, too? Did he actually think she could stop him? “What if” she kicked him in the face?
Sometimes, life gives your relationship a test. In this case, we observe how this boyfriend and girlfriend would fare when it comes to the “in sickness and in health” part of a marriage vow.
Yikes. Better luck next time.
We’ll forgive that she refers to herself in the third person as “your beloved” for now, seeing as she’s nursing a heart condition. But maybe I should try that. “Hey honey, want to meet your beloved for a coffee after work?. . . No? Well your beloved misses you!” …Sounds like the setup for a horror movie.
Stay tuned next week for five full days of TMXS!
Surprise! You’re the “other woman”.
Listen. When I took you out to dinner and brought you home, I thought you were doing that with the knowledge that my soon-to-be-ex-wife will be stopping by in the morning to pick up more of her stuff. Oh, and please disregard her panties hanging up to dry in the bathroom. You didn’t know I still had a wife? Well. That’s your fault. You should have checked my facebook relationship status.
Sometimes, there’s more drama offstage than on.
I’m going to wager that his thoughts, had we filled in the words instead of a lingering ellipsis, would have been something like this.
thingsmyexsaid 