Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Category Archives: Crazytown

I love a good non sequitur as much as the next geeky humorist, but this one makes no sense.

Drink was druggedExcuse me, miss? He wasn’t talking about anything funny. Unless you’re so disturbed by his news that the only response your brain can handle is to completely deny reality, there’s no reason or excuse for having that be your reply. Shame on you.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


When Things My Ex Said and Tinder collide… the results are exactly what you’d expect.

thoughts on bondage

Music to bondage? Seems like a reasonable segue to me. Isn’t the “getting to know you” stage grand? At least he got right to the point.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


We’ve talked on this website before about what happens when you put on a “happy couple weight“. But add in the factor that your significant other may be a serial killer?

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They say people at risk for suicide are more likely to go through with it if they have a clear plan.

Guessing the same holds true for killing other people, as well. The joke’s on him, though! Looks like even with a plan it won’t be easy–after all, he would have to use both hands.

Got a stupid ex? Want something they said to live on in digital infamy? Submit your quotes to Things My Ex Said!


When I was younger, I used to think the stereotype of the insufferable mother-in-law was just that: a stereotype. But the more I observe, and the more quotes I receive from readers, the more I wonder whether the issue may actually be more of a two-way street. Ladies, you seem to like to hate on mothers on this site! (And men, you like to make inappropriate physical assertions… but that’s a rant for another day.) I have to say, in the wake of Mother’s Day last weekend, that kind of grinds my gears.

just like your mother

I don’t know what annoys me more: that it’s supposed to be topical and funny to compare a man to his mother, or that the artist shaded this woman’s chin like she’s got a hefty hipster beard growing in. Maybe this man’s mother is a serial killer, or maybe she has Tourette’s, or is a kleptomaniac, or has anger management problems that render the comparison unlikely and droll. But if I was his mother, I’d want him to be a chip off the old block!

. . . Uh oh. Does that mean that I’m going to be like his mother? Or this mother? Oh, Mother.

Things My Ex Said: The Cabaret had a fabulous opening on Monday night! Pictures to come! Still one more chance to see the show, this Friday at 7:30 PM!


I wonder if he uses this pick up line on all the ladies.

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I’ve never dated a police officer, but to me this sounds like a bad crime procedural. Truth really is stranger than fiction. On the bright side, at least she knew he was unarmed!

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


We’re kicking off this week with another comic by “O”!

Break ups are never easy. Even if it’s what you want. But sometimes, they’re just freaking weird.

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Is this bribery? An attempt at a guilt trip? Denial? I’ve heard of killing somebody with kindness, but I just don’t know what to make of this scenario. Talk about trying to win the break up.

Want to see more of this artist’s work? Check out www.0thehumanity.tumblr.com to see his full range of comics!

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Happy Valentine’s Day! One year ago today this little blog was born. And what a year it’s been! I couldn’t have done it, quite literally, without all of you. Thank you for your quotes and your input! Hopefully we’ve all had a chance to laugh at some cringe-worthy memories and make them a little less painful.

Coming up in 2014 we’ve got some big plans for Things My Ex Said! Stay tuned for guest artists, new levels of horrible exes, and so much more. But first, in honor of the Day of Love, here is the grossest, weirdest, least romantic quote I may have ever read.

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The non sequitur. The presumption. The….herpes. Who is this person, and how do we keep him from ever telling someone she is “going to have to learn to love” his herpes, ever again? Listen, guy: It doesn’t matter which hole you’re aiming for. Keep that diseased stick and it’s entitled attitude zipped up.

Nobody is going to learn to love your herpes until you love yourself. Happy Valentine’s Day!



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