Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Category Archives: Sex

Folks, what’s up with using other people to masturbate? Come on now.

Mind if I fart?Nothing like skipping ahead to the “comfortably disillusioned” phase right away!

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There are several elements to this submission that (for me, at least) make it one of our most confusing, ever.

even though i don't want to

Wait a minute… did he just accuse her of being a rapist? Is she a rapist? If the genders were reversed, would we perceive this scenario differently? Somehow, since she was the one who submitted this quote, I suspect she had no idea he wasn’t into their physical relationship. But seriously. What the hell is going on there? Why was he having sex with her? Guys, gals, folks in between: don’t have sex with people you don’t want to have sex with! Relationships are complicated enough.

Or what if she was, like, his dominatrix or something, and this was part of their role play….

Happy September!  Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


We’re back! And don’t worry, we’re keeping it classy.

do four chicks

I wonder if he found them.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


I’m having trouble following his logic.

Sex-only relationship

I suppose we can’t blame him for trying. Wait a minute. Yes, we can.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


To some people, I guess size really is everything.

Still your biggest

Well, let’s see, let me break out my measuring tape….

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


When Things My Ex Said and Tinder collide… the results are exactly what you’d expect.

thoughts on bondage

Music to bondage? Seems like a reasonable segue to me. Isn’t the “getting to know you” stage grand? At least he got right to the point.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


One thing I’m a big fan of in relationships is consistency.

tightest lay

Is the lesson here: how quickly one can forget the good times? Or how easy it is to lie when you’re trying to get laid?

Hope you’ve all got your tickets, because tonight’s final performance of Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret is sold out! Can’t wait to play to another packed house in Glasgow tonight! It’s been such a blast, and cannot wait to share some highlights with you folks online, very soon!



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