Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Category Archives: Bad Dates

First dates. That stressful time to make a good impression.

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Click to Enlarge

I don’t know if this guy thought he was sounding educated, or jaded, or funny…. but whatever he was going for, it didn’t work.


Here we are, on a beautiful moonlit night, wrapped in a passionate kiss.

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Click to Enlarge

Because I wouldn’t want you to think this is, like regular Coke or something. As long as we’re clear that this is the aspartame of affection! Nothing real or natural, no substance and no nutritional value. Then sure, you can pop fizz all over my face.


Don’t you love the getting-to-know-each-other phase? When you can ask all those questions about what pets you like, and where your favorite restaurant is, and whether you believe in soul mates?

I believe in romanceWelp, I suppose that’s true.

I don’t know about you ladies, but I like to go into a first date armed with a list of things I won’t do. Somewhere between the salad and the entrée is usually the right time to mention things like, “You’re never going to do me in the butt, by the way.” If possible, try to wait until he’s taken a big gulp of his drink.


Congratulations for Teesha44 for winning the title of Best Worst Break Up!!! You’ve turned that lemon of an ex into some sweet, sugary lemonade! What did Teesha44 win? Well, besides getting to treasure the terrible memory forever with this comic strip below, Teesha44 wins a signed copy of the new book Axing My Exes, by Jerrica Zeron.

It was just a joke

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Want to read the whole break up story? Read the full winning entry here. A huge thanks to everyone who submitted their stories. And a special thank you to Jerrica Zeron for including ThingsMyExSaid in her contest!

Still got a terrible quote? Don’t worry! It may not come with a signed (hilarious) book, but you can still submit your quotes for free all day, every day, right here. 🙂


Wow. Guys, what not to say on a first date? It’s this.

I was talking about the chicken

And that chicken now has a better chance of getting lucky than you do. Surprise! The mirror can be cruel.


Are you serious?

Click to enlarge!

Click to enlarge!

Here’s a tip for getting your mom’s present back from your girlfriend. Don’t give your mom’s present to your girlfriend.


It’s April Fool’s Day! So we thought you’d enjoy seeing one of the more foolish first-date quotes we’ve had submitted. When an attempt at a compliment goes very, very wrong…

funny 'cause you're fat wm

We give extra points for her sassy comeback line!



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