Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Tag Archives: body image

I don’t even know if this can qualify as a backhanded compliment, as I have yet to see where the “compliment” part is. I guess she’s tall?

(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

Ugh. How many shades of this man are we going to see on this website? Men, can you get it through your heads that alluding to someone being too fat is just not okay? Yes, even if you are a doctor. Save it for the clinic. You leave me to imagine that you think I’m pretty, and I’ll leave you to imagine it’s okay to have two chocolate croissants for breakfast. And we’ll both die of the American Condition early, but happy.

Or, you know, keep picking on your loved one’s nose and thighs and feet and upper arms. What do I know? I’m just a voice on the internet.

Speaking of voice, rehearsals for Things My Ex Said: The Cabaret are going great!!! I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it! Performing on Monday, 12 May and  Friday, 16 May at 7:30 PM at the Grand Ballroom in Sloan’s, Glasgow. Come see your favorite quotes brought to life against a backdrop of badass 90’s tunes. Tickets on sale now!

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


I really like bigger girls

This might be the worst compliment ever. Not because there is anything wrong with size 4 or any other size out there, but because he’s using the compliment to make himself sound like a better person by hinting that he might be the best she can get.

She might as well have said, “I really love your face. A lot of women don’t like it, but I enjoy being with someone who’s less attractive than me.”

You shrunk my sweater

And if you take a step closer, I will strangle you with a very tiny sweater.

If you look at sitcom fodder, nabbing a doctor is supposed to be like winning the lottery. A doctor? Break me off a piece! I want one! Let’s make him a pediatrician, so I’ll live in a fab house and my kids will be the healthiest kids in the world… Well, ladies and gentlemen, doctors can have some ambitions of their own.



Oh wait. Not worth it. Back to dating unemployed aspiring….whatevers… in three, two, one.

That one time you follow the instructions for an easy up-do in Cosmo.

Lord of the Rings Hair

Chances are, unless you met her on a ComicCon message board, she’s not going to love this compliment. But at least he didn’t say Star Wars!

He’s a keen observer, this one.

How much tighter my ass is

She probably noticed the first time she saw him naked, and secretly hated her butt because of it. But nice of him to take his head out of his own tight ass and finally notice.

When date night goes south…

Click to Enlarge!

Click to Enlarge!

And you were a lot more handsome with your mouth shut.

And the ever classic, ever clueless:

That shirt makes you look fat copy

It sort of has a timeless ring to it, doesn’t it? Almost poetic in its simplicity.



Yes. Yes she did. Absolutely. And please note: if you find yourself backed into this kind of corner, use of the word “empirically” isn’t going to help you, it will only make you sound even douchier.

Okay, so this isn’t a quote from somebody’s ex. But as I was matching some more 4-star quotes to comic strips this morning, I came across this:

Too Fat for Love

From the 1950s comic strip Dream of Love, we see that yes, fat girls too can dream of love. Even in Hollywood! And don’t even let me get started on Dr. Anthony King, Hollywood Psychiatrist! Although, not gonna lie… “Hollywood Psychiatrist” would look almost as cool on a business card as “Doctor Cop”. I thought this comic was more than offensive enough on its own, so rather than pair it with a quote, I thought I’d let it stand alone on this special Saturday TMXS post!

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