As I’m sure we all agree, many a relationship has been saved in semantics.
Just kidding.
Hmmm. Maybe he’s calling her dumb? Somehow I think that’s worse.
Folks, what’s up with using other people to masturbate? Come on now.
Nothing like skipping ahead to the “comfortably disillusioned” phase right away!
Why can’t’ we all just be one big happy family?
Okay. Speaking as someone who’s been that ex you’ve had to go out to dinner with, just go! Then you can act really rude to her and end up making her cry on the subway ride home. Not that that’s happened to me….
But seriously, what was this guy thinking? He might as well as have said “she’s’ hotter than you”. He’s going to have to kiss ass for a couple weeks to smooth over this one.
Keep up with rehearsal progress for Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret on our facebook page! We’ve got out first full run-thru tomorrow. Sneak peeks to come!
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
If there is one thing exes aren’t good for, it’s swag.
Wait a minute, the next guy you date is supposed to be less of a tool. This is backwards.
Boys, as Christmas approaches. . . Whenever we say “Oh, don’t be silly, you don’t need to get me anything,” it means “I want to be so special to you that you had to get me something, even though I pretended not to be materialistic when I was trying to get you to stop playing video games and kiss me the other day.” That is what it means.
Consider today’s quote a cautionary tale.
I don’t blame you for not finding the right gift amongst the Spongebob Squarepants socks and blindingly neon lingerie of the mall, but how about flowers, you lazy f*ck?
Gentlemen, when flirting with a gal it’s important to lead with your best foot forward.
It’s important to me to know where I stand in the hierarchy of hotness at any given time. Thanks for the update.
The narration here is actually still from the original comic. But the idiocy was all his.
The only time this answer is appropriate is when she chooses to dress as Lolita for Halloween. But…if she chooses to dress as Lolita for Halloween? Run.
Also, I love that the chick in the original comic was planning to use her gaping keyhole dress to manipulate Joe into doing…something. And everything has exclamation marks!
As a recently-turned 28-year old, this reader submission pretty much sums up my (very first world) worst nightmare.
Date over. Now. I need to go home, eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, drink half a bottle of Pinot Grigio and schedule a meeting with the undertaker to see if he can formaldehyde the crows feet off my face.
Chances are, after all the sh*t that went down yesterday with the VRA, DoMA, and #StandWithWendy, that you’re probably a little riled up over something. Are you celebrating? Pissed? Scared? Toweling off before the next round? You probably should.
If you did manage to somehow make it to this blog without having heard about any of the history being made in the last 30 hours, and without being crushed by the weight of the rock you live under, I dedicate today’s quote to you.
Right. Because she’s going to school for prostitution?
June is busting out all over! And so, perhaps, is she:
CLICK TO ENLARGE
Remember folks, fat girls are funny. And thin ladies, try not to steal their thunder! ….And no, that’s not a “fat pun” I just made.
Right…… Let’s just focus on the important issue here: that guy was clueless.
thingsmyexsaid 