Luckily enough, all of my relationships have failed so quickly they’ve never come to divorce. So I really don’t know anything about it. But honestly, this seems pretty whack.
The “good” news? He’s on his second lawyer now. And somewhere in between all the property, claims, and collateral damage are two broken hearts.
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This is the male version of playing dress up:
“You’re fun to play dress up in, but I wouldn’t actually wear you to the prom.”
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
Not to knock the power of prayer, or any sort of spirituality… But when you’re dissolving an engagement, the futility of your messages to God aren’t going to make her feel any better.
(click to enlarge)
Yeah, “sorry” isn’t gonna cut it, either.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
Your wife is pregnant. Congratulations! Now, guest artist “O” reminds us to never, ever say this:
(click to enlarge)
Seriously. You might as well relocate to the garage, because the sleeping on the couch is officially too good for you.
Want to see more of this artist’s work? Check out www.0thehumanity.tumblr.com to see his full range of comics! Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
I think this might be the most awkward agreement to dissolve an engagement, ever.
What came next? Awkward silence? That moment when you say, “Wait a minute. . . did we just. . . break up?” (Beat.) “I think so.” ? Or were they just like, “Aight, bye.” ?
The world may never know.
Sometimes, there’s more drama offstage than on.
I’m going to wager that his thoughts, had we filled in the words instead of a lingering ellipsis, would have been something like this.
Ladies, aren’t we always saying we want to find a man who’s ready to commit? Sounds like this guy is on the right track!
Oh wait… commit and give up aren’t the same thing? Right.
Guys, take notice: nothing is more desirable in a mate than when he possesses a complete lack of ambition or drive, and has a total willingness for your daddy to take care of him.
We’re doing something a little bit different, today! After amusing myself looking at our site stats, I am pleased and proud to announce the following search terms were among those that have brought viewers to this site:
- when is your birthday?
- let’s be terrible together
- what my ex said about my weight
- drive me
- dear ex boyfriend quotes
- morning sex quotes
- hope in our relationship quotes
- high school pervy teacher
- morning coffee and sex
- how old is your momma
- my ex says that I’m pretty, and fun
- too fat to love
- quotes about giving up
- drugs madness
- my ex boyfriend lied 2013
- funny compliments
- ex posting bad thing about ex
- funny quotes about first dates with pictures
- games hot sleep soulmate
- losing things quotes
- my ex said bad things
- coffee sex quotes
- trifecta of love
- funny compliments
- therapist says wtf
And last but not least, my favorite:
- the hunger games porn
Guys, these search terms are awesome. Keep looking up weird shit. I’ll be there for you when you find me.
Don’t worry, on Wednesday we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming. And now, here’s an original 1950’s comic that needed none of my improving:
Click to Enlarge!
Never listen to rumors about your future husband’s past! You’ll ruin everything!!!
thingsmyexsaid 