I can think of more than just the obvious reason not to have sex with this guy.
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Clearly, he thinks the elephant in the room isn’t his absent girlfriend.
Nothing like security, right? Job security, financial security, relationship security….
I’d start worrying now, if I were you.
Suddenly, whatever is happening on your Monday isn’t going to seem so bad…
You’re welcome.
You know what? Sometimes guys aren’t mean. Sometimes they think you’re smokin’ hot.
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No, guy. I think the question is, what else are you looking for? Because that nice body probably has a nice person inside. Or at least a nice face.
Here we are, on a beautiful moonlit night, wrapped in a passionate kiss.
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Because I wouldn’t want you to think this is, like regular Coke or something. As long as we’re clear that this is the aspartame of affection! Nothing real or natural, no substance and no nutritional value. Then sure, you can pop fizz all over my face.
May you never be in a relationship that gets to this point:
Have an intimate and affectionate weekend, everybody! Whatever that means to you. Unfortunately for her, it meant some naked time.
People like this guy give marijuana a bad rep.
Guess what? I like to drink coffee, but it doesn’t make me tolerate you thinking I’m really that dumb. If she wants you to love her, it’s the responsible thing to encourage and enable you? That’s love? Sounds more like a threat.
Ain’t nobody buying your brand of skunky bullshit today.
Ladies and gentlemen, the price of love:
You know we’ve all thought it, at one point or another.
thingsmyexsaid 