Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Category Archives: WTF?

Not to knock the power of prayer, or any sort of spirituality… But when you’re dissolving an engagement, the futility of your messages to God aren’t going to make her feel any better.

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Yeah, “sorry” isn’t gonna cut it, either.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


There’s nothing like the special bond of trust between two lovers.

Email 3 months ago

Must be.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


We’ve talked on this website before about what happens when you put on a “happy couple weight“. But add in the factor that your significant other may be a serial killer?

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They say people at risk for suicide are more likely to go through with it if they have a clear plan.

Guessing the same holds true for killing other people, as well. The joke’s on him, though! Looks like even with a plan it won’t be easy–after all, he would have to use both hands.

Got a stupid ex? Want something they said to live on in digital infamy? Submit your quotes to Things My Ex Said!


Want tickets to the gun show?

Watch me masturbate

…I didn’t think so. Quite frankly, dude, it’s not that hard to figure out. Pun intended.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Adultery is totally cool, but don’t you dare take the name of our Lord in vain.

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Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


If you’re as big a fan of Arrested Development as I am, you know there are few things better than a good incest joke. But perhaps not when the butt of the joke is you.

Brother and Sister

Okay. first of all, would anyone even question why two people have the same last name? I mean, you’re married. Duh. Second of all, why is that funny? And if you aren’t married and have the same last name–well, that’s cool, but you might want to just double check that family tree and be sure. And 3rd of all…. does he really think that’s clever? You might want to look into whether there’s something to be said for kissing cousins and IQ, after all.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


We had a fabulous time yesterday exhibiting our comics at an International Women’s Day event in Glasgow! Thanks to all involved. Wonderful and inspiring stories shared by the presenters, new quotes from new readers, and new friends to boot! Stay tuned for more in-person exhibitions of ThingsMyExSaid quotes in the future!

Today’s quote carries on the theme of gender roles lifestyle choices…

Law School

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How dare you? When you could be doing other worthwhile things like watching wrestling on TV, making me dinner, or giving me–ahem–attention. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


We’re kicking off this week with another comic by “O”!

Break ups are never easy. Even if it’s what you want. But sometimes, they’re just freaking weird.

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Is this bribery? An attempt at a guilt trip? Denial? I’ve heard of killing somebody with kindness, but I just don’t know what to make of this scenario. Talk about trying to win the break up.

Want to see more of this artist’s work? Check out www.0thehumanity.tumblr.com to see his full range of comics!

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


There’s nothing like running into an old flame.

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Nope! Nothing to prove here, at all! You’re totally comfortable in your skin and clearly sooooo over me.

Today I’m so happy to introduce our first guest artist, Orlando Segarra! Orlando’s work came across my eye several months ago, with his own series of comic strips. Like a more cynical Far Side for the hipster generation, I knew Segarra’s work would be a great fit for Things My Ex Said. Stay tuned for more of his work–and guest comics by others–popping up in the future!

Thanks for giving TMXS a little spice on this otherwise dreary Monday morning!


Happy Valentine’s Day! One year ago today this little blog was born. And what a year it’s been! I couldn’t have done it, quite literally, without all of you. Thank you for your quotes and your input! Hopefully we’ve all had a chance to laugh at some cringe-worthy memories and make them a little less painful.

Coming up in 2014 we’ve got some big plans for Things My Ex Said! Stay tuned for guest artists, new levels of horrible exes, and so much more. But first, in honor of the Day of Love, here is the grossest, weirdest, least romantic quote I may have ever read.

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The non sequitur. The presumption. The….herpes. Who is this person, and how do we keep him from ever telling someone she is “going to have to learn to love” his herpes, ever again? Listen, guy: It doesn’t matter which hole you’re aiming for. Keep that diseased stick and it’s entitled attitude zipped up.

Nobody is going to learn to love your herpes until you love yourself. Happy Valentine’s Day!



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