November 22, 2013
Welp, it’s important to know what you want.
Because it doesn’t matter what I may say or do–as long as this is the sitcom where no matter how badly I screw up I still get laid? Life will be good.
November 13, 2013
I can think of more than just the obvious reason not to have sex with this guy.
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Clearly, he thinks the elephant in the room isn’t his absent girlfriend.
October 28, 2013
Suddenly, whatever is happening on your Monday isn’t going to seem so bad…
October 4, 2013
May you never be in a relationship that gets to this point:
Have an intimate and affectionate weekend, everybody! Whatever that means to you. Unfortunately for her, it meant some naked time.
September 23, 2013
The setting goes as follows. Guy asks girl to go on a trip with him. Girl agrees. Trip is booked. Guy gets weird.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
For those of you keeping up with me, the transatlantic move was successful! Henceforth, ThingsMyExSaid will post every Monday-Wednesday-Friday morning in Greenwich Mean Time! Cheers!
August 28, 2013
When boinking your girlfriend just isn’t an option…
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No shit, Sherlock.
July 19, 2013
When you’re actually lucky enough to get laid, never say this.
July 15, 2013
Got a romantic memory you are proud to say you’re ashamed of? Submit your quote here and see the scenes from your life immortalized in digital art!
July 8, 2013
You guys, this might be the worst coming out story I’ve ever heard.
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No, she doesn’t want.
June 19, 2013
Translation: So, we can still have sex while I date other people, right?