You meet someone you like. You crush for a long time. They like you back. Sparks! Victory! Hurrah!

You go on a date. At the end of the night, the moment comes…

passionate kissing

Seriously, what is the point? Only prudish granny kissing, please! And when we hold hands, if yours could go for the “limp noodle”, that’d be great.

…And get those fingers out of my hair.

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