It’s really inconvenient when you make me have to destroy the evidence.
I mean, I’d love to share all these conversations with you, but you think I’m being a shifty bastard.
Gentlemen, when flirting with a gal it’s important to lead with your best foot forward.
It’s important to me to know where I stand in the hierarchy of hotness at any given time. Thanks for the update.
Are you a sentimentalist or a pragmatist when it comes to a break up? Do you keep the mementos, or sell them to the highest bidder?
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Guess we’re going sentimental on this one.
You know what? Sometimes guys aren’t mean. Sometimes they think you’re smokin’ hot.
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No, guy. I think the question is, what else are you looking for? Because that nice body probably has a nice person inside. Or at least a nice face.
It’s ThingsMyExSaid‘s 100th post!! Oh my gosh! We’re so old! And to celebrate, I thought what better way than to share one of my personal favorites. I’ve been saving this one for a special day. I think you can guess why.
Note to self: if he’s making it onto this website before he’s your ex, he should be your ex.
Got a quote you’d like to share? Send in your quotes and see that lemon of an ex turned into comedic lemonade!
Here we are, on a beautiful moonlit night, wrapped in a passionate kiss.
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Because I wouldn’t want you to think this is, like regular Coke or something. As long as we’re clear that this is the aspartame of affection! Nothing real or natural, no substance and no nutritional value. Then sure, you can pop fizz all over my face.
The narration here is actually still from the original comic. But the idiocy was all his.
The only time this answer is appropriate is when she chooses to dress as Lolita for Halloween. But…if she chooses to dress as Lolita for Halloween? Run.
Also, I love that the chick in the original comic was planning to use her gaping keyhole dress to manipulate Joe into doing…something. And everything has exclamation marks!
May you never be in a relationship that gets to this point:
Have an intimate and affectionate weekend, everybody! Whatever that means to you. Unfortunately for her, it meant some naked time.
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