Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Category Archives: Common Sense

There’s nothing like the special bond of trust between two lovers.

Email 3 months ago

Must be.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


A lot of attention is paid to pick-up lines. Particularly, bad pick-up lines. But attention should also be paid to “put-down” lines. There’s an art to letting someone down easy. And a tactless put-down leaves you flat on your ass.

This guy sounds like he took his lessons from classic movies… which, I suppose, isn’t the worst place to draw from. But it earned him no points in the tact department.

Had a good run

“Here’s lookin’ at you, kid. Or rather, here’s to not having to look at you ever again.”

Speaking of over, Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret closed to packed houses in Glasgow this weekend! We had a fantastic time. Stay tuned for pictures and video to follow!


One thing I’m a big fan of in relationships is consistency.

tightest lay

Is the lesson here: how quickly one can forget the good times? Or how easy it is to lie when you’re trying to get laid?

Hope you’ve all got your tickets, because tonight’s final performance of Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret is sold out! Can’t wait to play to another packed house in Glasgow tonight! It’s been such a blast, and cannot wait to share some highlights with you folks online, very soon!


Want tickets to the gun show?

Watch me masturbate

…I didn’t think so. Quite frankly, dude, it’s not that hard to figure out. Pun intended.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Why can’t’ we all just be one big happy family?

She's smarter than you

 

Okay. Speaking as someone who’s been that ex you’ve had to go out to dinner with, just go! Then you can act really rude to her and end up making her cry on the subway ride home. Not that that’s happened to me….

But seriously, what was this guy thinking? He might as well as have said “she’s’ hotter than you”. He’s going to have to kiss ass for a couple weeks to smooth over this one.

Keep up with rehearsal progress for Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret on our facebook page! We’ve got out first full run-thru tomorrow. Sneak peeks to come!

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!

 


It’s been a little while since we had a quote where the girl was the obvious asshole. I think this one makes up for the dry spell.

A couple months into exclusively dating…

Mother may have cancer

Ladies, what is it with you and cancer? Or is it with mothers? We have a terrible track record, here! So much for us being pegged as overly nurturing. It’s not like the guy asked you to fly home with him!

Also…. can we talk about how scary thin her waist is in this drawing? I guess I’d be a heinous bitch if my waist was the size of my bicep, too.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


A person’s body is their own business, but I do think important for partners to be on the same page when it comes to stuff like illegal substances.

YOU DIDN'T ASK

“Hi honey. Did you get high last night? Want some breakfast to take the edge off that comedown? Or maybe a blowjob?”

Classic addict behavior. Turns the situation around to insinuate that it’s her fault she didn’t know he took drugs. What else is he keeping from her? And how many times has this happened before? Was it his first time smoking pot, or his fourth time out of rehab?

Or maybe she wanted to know because she was upset not to be a part of the action. Either way, sharing is caring.


Your wife is pregnant. Congratulations! Now, guest artist “O” reminds us to never, ever say this:

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

Seriously. You might as well relocate to the garage, because the sleeping on the couch is officially too good for you.

Want to see more of this artist’s work? Check out www.0thehumanity.tumblr.com to see his full range of comics! Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


In a truly committed relationship, it’s important to be selfless…

YOU'RE SO SELFISH

Wait a minute. What?! How can he expect anyone to actually fall for that? And yet, why do I imagine someone has?

Listen. In a relationship, it’s important to be selfish. It should be a relationship with someone you want. He or she should treat you the way you want. And you should behave like the person you want to be in relationship. And if the person you want to be happens to not be diseased and pregnant, then you know this guy is full of crap.

…What if she replied with, “Actually, I’m protecting you, since I have syphilis.”


Sometimes, life gives your relationship a test. In this case, we observe how this boyfriend and girlfriend would fare when it comes to the “in sickness and in health” part of a marriage vow.

heart condition

Yikes. Better luck next time.

We’ll forgive that she refers to herself in the third person as “your beloved” for now, seeing as she’s nursing a heart condition. But maybe I should try that. “Hey honey, want to meet your beloved for a coffee after work?. . . No? Well your beloved misses you!” …Sounds like the setup for a horror movie.

Stay tuned next week for five full days of TMXS!



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