To round out the weekend, I thought I’d level the playing field a bit. Here’s a quote by everyone, ever.
Not even if you and I had the last phones on earth.
Here we are, on a beautiful moonlit night, wrapped in a passionate kiss.
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Because I wouldn’t want you to think this is, like regular Coke or something. As long as we’re clear that this is the aspartame of affection! Nothing real or natural, no substance and no nutritional value. Then sure, you can pop fizz all over my face.
The narration here is actually still from the original comic. But the idiocy was all his.
The only time this answer is appropriate is when she chooses to dress as Lolita for Halloween. But…if she chooses to dress as Lolita for Halloween? Run.
Also, I love that the chick in the original comic was planning to use her gaping keyhole dress to manipulate Joe into doing…something. And everything has exclamation marks!
Don’t you love the getting-to-know-each-other phase? When you can ask all those questions about what pets you like, and where your favorite restaurant is, and whether you believe in soul mates?
Welp, I suppose that’s true.
I don’t know about you ladies, but I like to go into a first date armed with a list of things I won’t do. Somewhere between the salad and the entrée is usually the right time to mention things like, “You’re never going to do me in the butt, by the way.” If possible, try to wait until he’s taken a big gulp of his drink.
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Why don’t you split some more hairs? They’re getting thin enough on top of that big head of yours. Oh wait. Now I’m acting like a bitch.
Be sure to check back on Friday to see the winning quote from our Best Worst Break Up Contest!
Oh dear God.
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This is the stuff of my nightmares.
ThingsMyExSaid will be taking the day off this Friday, because I’m moving from New York City to Scotland! But we’ll be back on Monday with our regularly scheduled programming. And don’t forget, The Best Worst Break Up Story Contest is still running until September 25th!
Chances are, after all the sh*t that went down yesterday with the VRA, DoMA, and #StandWithWendy, that you’re probably a little riled up over something. Are you celebrating? Pissed? Scared? Toweling off before the next round? You probably should.
If you did manage to somehow make it to this blog without having heard about any of the history being made in the last 30 hours, and without being crushed by the weight of the rock you live under, I dedicate today’s quote to you.
Right. Because she’s going to school for prostitution?
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