This guy probably had the best of intentions… but he loses all points in the delivery.
“Get ready, because I’m marking you as mine. Your body is about to go to from wonderland to wasteland in five…four…three…two…”
Let’s just hope he can chill out enough to stop thinking of “all other men” while they’re in the bedroom.
What’s better than being taken out to dinner by your honey?
I’m all about being as frugal as possible, but if you’re taking someone out? Bitch can get a drank! If you’re that broke, take her on a long romantic walk.
Also, be kind to your waiters. Please don’t shout, “waiter!” Although in the context of this comic it is pretty perfect.
Long distance sucks, folks. We all know it. And college can be a particularly trying time, because every summer you have that pesky vacation when you might have to go home. And then you might not be around to play flipcup with your boyfriend and his fraternity brothers every week.
Click to enlarge
Obviously. Who doesn’t want to welcome “the freshman experience” back into into their dorm room? He might as well have just said, “I’d like permission to gain 15 pounds, throw up on myself, and give you an STI in the fall.”
Just a friendly Monday morning reminder to atone for the mistakes you made last weekend.
What’s the most efficient way to get your significant other to never trust you again? That, right there.
I can think of more than just the obvious reason not to have sex with this guy.
Click to Enlarge
Clearly, he thinks the elephant in the room isn’t his absent girlfriend.
It’s really inconvenient when you make me have to destroy the evidence.
I mean, I’d love to share all these conversations with you, but you think I’m being a shifty bastard.
Nothing like security, right? Job security, financial security, relationship security….
I’d start worrying now, if I were you.
You know what? Sometimes guys aren’t mean. Sometimes they think you’re smokin’ hot.
CLICK TO ENLARGE!
No, guy. I think the question is, what else are you looking for? Because that nice body probably has a nice person inside. Or at least a nice face.
It’s ThingsMyExSaid‘s 100th post!! Oh my gosh! We’re so old! And to celebrate, I thought what better way than to share one of my personal favorites. I’ve been saving this one for a special day. I think you can guess why.
Note to self: if he’s making it onto this website before he’s your ex, he should be your ex.
Got a quote you’d like to share? Send in your quotes and see that lemon of an ex turned into comedic lemonade!
Fair enough.
Click to Enlarge
No, certainly not. Why would she do that?
But seriously. If there were ever an excuse for being a bitch, isn’t “you cheated on me” the case?
thingsmyexsaid 