It’s almost Valentine’s Day! And in honor of Friday’s impending Hallmark holiday, we will be posting one new comic every day this week!
Kicking off the fun is this guy:
His logic is flawless.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
You know, sometimes it’s okay to just agree and say “yeah, that would be cool.”
This was one of those times.
Ever find out that your boyfriend thinks you’re kind of busted looking?
Not our kids. Your kids. Because I wouldn’t touch that with anything but a ten foot pole. Or my penis.
…Let’s hope his kids don’t inherit his tact.
If there is one thing exes aren’t good for, it’s swag.
Wait a minute, the next guy you date is supposed to be less of a tool. This is backwards.
Okay. Let’s get one thing straight. She looks good.
(click to enlarge)
Don’t criticize my hair. That’s my mother’s job.
It’s ThingsMyExSaid‘s 100th post!! Oh my gosh! We’re so old! And to celebrate, I thought what better way than to share one of my personal favorites. I’ve been saving this one for a special day. I think you can guess why.
Note to self: if he’s making it onto this website before he’s your ex, he should be your ex.
Got a quote you’d like to share? Send in your quotes and see that lemon of an ex turned into comedic lemonade!
Congratulations for Teesha44 for winning the title of Best Worst Break Up!!! You’ve turned that lemon of an ex into some sweet, sugary lemonade! What did Teesha44 win? Well, besides getting to treasure the terrible memory forever with this comic strip below, Teesha44 wins a signed copy of the new book Axing My Exes, by Jerrica Zeron.
Click to Enlarge
Want to read the whole break up story? Read the full winning entry here. A huge thanks to everyone who submitted their stories. And a special thank you to Jerrica Zeron for including ThingsMyExSaid in her contest!
Still got a terrible quote? Don’t worry! It may not come with a signed (hilarious) book, but you can still submit your quotes for free all day, every day, right here. 🙂
Alright. It’s time to learn a strange bit of trivia about me.
So I have this pattern of being dumped when a terrible, horrendous disaster occurs close to my home. Seriously. The guy I’m with realizes the world is going to end and that he’d rather die alone than anywhere near me. The first time this happened, he was my first serious boyfriend in high school. You know, that one.
Usually I like to leave you guessing as to which are the quotes from my own life, and which are reader submissions. But today is a special case. And believe me, I wouldn’t post this quote if I didn’t know with 100% certainly that it was real.
You just can’t make this stuff up, folks. And I suppose, in some small way, that was the start of how ThingsMyExSaid was born.
So I started this site to make fun of and achieve catharsis from my (and your) shitty ex-significant-others. Here’s what happens when one of my not shitty ex-boyfriends starts reading the site.
Facepalm.
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