We’re kicking off this week with another comic by “O”!
Break ups are never easy. Even if it’s what you want. But sometimes, they’re just freaking weird.
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Is this bribery? An attempt at a guilt trip? Denial? I’ve heard of killing somebody with kindness, but I just don’t know what to make of this scenario. Talk about trying to win the break up.
Want to see more of this artist’s work? Check out www.0thehumanity.tumblr.com to see his full range of comics!
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
In a truly committed relationship, it’s important to be selfless…
Wait a minute. What?! How can he expect anyone to actually fall for that? And yet, why do I imagine someone has?
Listen. In a relationship, it’s important to be selfish. It should be a relationship with someone you want. He or she should treat you the way you want. And you should behave like the person you want to be in relationship. And if the person you want to be happens to not be diseased and pregnant, then you know this guy is full of crap.
…What if she replied with, “Actually, I’m protecting you, since I have syphilis.”
Have you ever been dumped for a set of reasons that seemed totally mysterious and vague? Where you felt like you never really got a sense of what your former lover was actually thinking? Just a gray wash of disconnect that left you agonized, guessing and conjecturing to the cosmos about what went wrong?
Well, that wasn’t the case here.
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At least this guy has a clear set of priorities.
I sure seem to get a lot of quotes that touch on this theme. Makes me wonder. . . how many dates with a douche does it take to get to this point? One? Two? Three? Ten? It’s like the tootsie pop riddle for the new millennium.
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I’m going to venture that no, she doesn’t.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid! And stay tuned next week for all-new comics by our first guest artist!
Shopping with your significant other can be dangerous territory.
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“When” I look good? When I look good I’m going to try on a different style of boyfriend. Oh wait. I already do.
If somebody actually “allows” you to do this, maybe it’s not the right circumstance to say thank you. I think that’s gotta be the kind of thing where you push it deep under the rug and never talk about it again.
. . .Do you think he said please?
Okay. I think this one needs more explanation. Like, did she actually allow him an affair? Does she get to have one now, too? Did he actually think she could stop him? “What if” she kicked him in the face?
Happy Valentine’s Day! One year ago today this little blog was born. And what a year it’s been! I couldn’t have done it, quite literally, without all of you. Thank you for your quotes and your input! Hopefully we’ve all had a chance to laugh at some cringe-worthy memories and make them a little less painful.
Coming up in 2014 we’ve got some big plans for Things My Ex Said! Stay tuned for guest artists, new levels of horrible exes, and so much more. But first, in honor of the Day of Love, here is the grossest, weirdest, least romantic quote I may have ever read.
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The non sequitur. The presumption. The….herpes. Who is this person, and how do we keep him from ever telling someone she is “going to have to learn to love” his herpes, ever again? Listen, guy: It doesn’t matter which hole you’re aiming for. Keep that diseased stick and it’s entitled attitude zipped up.
Nobody is going to learn to love your herpes until you love yourself. Happy Valentine’s Day!
It you are having doubts about your relationship, ladies, remember to check your meds first.
Wow honey, you’re right! This doesn’t have anything to do with us as a couple, and your avoidance of answering my question clearly means nothing! It’s just my silly lady hormones clouding my brain and making me moody again! How could I ever take care of myself without you?
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid! And don’t forget to check back tomorrow for the final installment in our Valentine’s Day Countdown!
You gotta love the break ups that are full of flattery. “Oh my God. You smell amazing! No no no, don’t get any closer to me or I might throw up. But that smell… wow! You should be really happy with yourself.”
Break Ups 101: Don’t spend the first part of your break up conversation making out with your target.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid! And don’t forget to check back tomorrow for the next installment in our Valentine’s Day Countdown!
Sometimes, life gives your relationship a test. In this case, we observe how this boyfriend and girlfriend would fare when it comes to the “in sickness and in health” part of a marriage vow.
Yikes. Better luck next time.
We’ll forgive that she refers to herself in the third person as “your beloved” for now, seeing as she’s nursing a heart condition. But maybe I should try that. “Hey honey, want to meet your beloved for a coffee after work?. . . No? Well your beloved misses you!” …Sounds like the setup for a horror movie.
Stay tuned next week for five full days of TMXS!
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