I’m certainly not an advocate for those couples who are glued to their phones and have to send a constant barrage of updates throughout the day: “Snacktime selfie! Miss u!” And I certainly don’t understand the people who actually talk on the phone like it’s the ’90s, when there isn’t an immediate purpose that renders text messaging too unreliable. But when you’re part of an established “us” or “we”, it can be tricky when your communication styles don’t match.
First of all. Who wants the good morning text, really? Morning is when you’re rushing around, probably late (I know I am right now), can’t find your keys, and now you’re going to choose that time to remind her how cute and punctual you are? I mean, okay. If she’s like me, the good morning text will make her all smiley and happy and she’ll take what she can get, pausing to think of what a considerate guy you are, standing there texting her in your boxer shorts…. and great. Now she’s really late.
But to fire off a “good morning” text daily as though it’s as much of a chore as brushing your teeth? That just took all the romance out of my reheated yesterday’s coffee. Either she is extraordinarily insecure and can’t go 6 hours without hearing from you before she breaks down, or you are a robot.
Effective communication is a lot like effective love making– it’s not just as simple as checking the oil, boys!
Rehearsals are in full swing for TMXS: the Cabaret, which performs in Glasgow on May 12th and 16th. Stay tuned for more updates! Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
Yes, that is what he’s referring to.
Apparently sometimes having a big dick can make you a big dick. And that’s called hashtagnotworthit.
The dates have been set for Things My Ex Said: The Cabaret! I’ll be coming to the Grand Ballroom of Sloan’s on May 12th and 16th, at 7:30 PM, 62 Argyll Arcade, 108 Argyll Street, Glasgow, G2 8BG. Part of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland’s Candid Cabaret series. See your favorite quotes from the website come to life, paired with some bitchin’ 90s tunes!
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
Okay guys, confession time! I dropped off the radar. And no, I didn’t care enough to call. The irony of my website is now complete, and I’ve turned into that guy.
I went home to New York City for reasons both professional and personal, and was quite frankly just having too much fun to dwell on all our shitty exes. Actually, that’s not true. There’s been a lot of work done on TMXS behind the scenes in my absence. Things My Ex Said: The Cabaret goes up next month! And we’ve been planning our presence this summer at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival! And maybe I got laid. That’s a big enough deal to forget all responsibility and commitments for, like, a month, right?
And so, in the spirit of self-interest, I bring you this guy:
There you have it, folks! Took him five years to figure out he should be living for himself. What a genius. I wonder how much longer it will take for her to figure out the same…
Man, it’s great to be back to our regularly scheduled sarcasm. I hope you’ve been enjoying the spring fever and making smart choices. But if you haven’t, you can still submit your quotes here and see them resurrected here on the website!
It’s been a little while since we had a quote where the girl was the obvious asshole. I think this one makes up for the dry spell.
A couple months into exclusively dating…
Ladies, what is it with you and cancer? Or is it with mothers? We have a terrible track record, here! So much for us being pegged as overly nurturing. It’s not like the guy asked you to fly home with him!
Also…. can we talk about how scary thin her waist is in this drawing? I guess I’d be a heinous bitch if my waist was the size of my bicep, too.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
Don’t you despise long-distance relationships? When you finally find the one and then rearrange your life to be with them?
Well, this takes only wanting what you can’t have to a whole new level.
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Oh thanks, dude. Could have given me a heads-up that you were that strapped for a fuck buddy back home.
Either she is fierce, or he needs to calm down.
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I’m sorry. You’re cooking for her? And you’re cooking something that requires some kind of preparation? I think you’re doing just fine. And if not… I’ll eat it! Just saying.
Big news today! I am happy to announce that Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret will premiere in Glasgow this May! Produced in association with The Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, we’ll be lighting up the stage with some of your favorite quotes from this website and some of your favorite angsty 90s rock tunes.
More details to come! We’ll be on at the Grand Ballroom in Sloan’s the week of May 12!
And now, in honor of our first official band rehearsal and production meeting, here’s another quote you may be shocked to discover comes from my own life. (Two in a row! We’re on a spree!)
Guess which one I chose.
Adultery is totally cool, but don’t you dare take the name of our Lord in vain.
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Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
Your wife is pregnant. Congratulations! Now, guest artist “O” reminds us to never, ever say this:
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Seriously. You might as well relocate to the garage, because the sleeping on the couch is officially too good for you.
Want to see more of this artist’s work? Check out www.0thehumanity.tumblr.com to see his full range of comics! Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
We had a fabulous time yesterday exhibiting our comics at an International Women’s Day event in Glasgow! Thanks to all involved. Wonderful and inspiring stories shared by the presenters, new quotes from new readers, and new friends to boot! Stay tuned for more in-person exhibitions of ThingsMyExSaid quotes in the future!
Today’s quote carries on the theme of gender roles lifestyle choices…
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How dare you? When you could be doing other worthwhile things like watching wrestling on TV, making me dinner, or giving me–ahem–attention. Selfish, selfish, selfish.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
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