And if you take a step closer, I will strangle you with a very tiny sweater.
As a recently-turned 28-year old, this reader submission pretty much sums up my (very first world) worst nightmare.
Date over. Now. I need to go home, eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, drink half a bottle of Pinot Grigio and schedule a meeting with the undertaker to see if he can formaldehyde the crows feet off my face.
He’s a keen observer, this one.
She probably noticed the first time she saw him naked, and secretly hated her butt because of it. But nice of him to take his head out of his own tight ass and finally notice.
Wow. Guys, what not to say on a first date? It’s this.
And that chicken now has a better chance of getting lucky than you do. Surprise! The mirror can be cruel.
We’re ending pretty strong with our last quote for the week. Let’s all celebrate her independence from this guy.
Oh God…
Chances are, after all the sh*t that went down yesterday with the VRA, DoMA, and #StandWithWendy, that you’re probably a little riled up over something. Are you celebrating? Pissed? Scared? Toweling off before the next round? You probably should.
If you did manage to somehow make it to this blog without having heard about any of the history being made in the last 30 hours, and without being crushed by the weight of the rock you live under, I dedicate today’s quote to you.
Right. Because she’s going to school for prostitution?
When date night goes south…
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And you were a lot more handsome with your mouth shut.
June is busting out all over! And so, perhaps, is she:
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Remember folks, fat girls are funny. And thin ladies, try not to steal their thunder! ….And no, that’s not a “fat pun” I just made.
Right…… Let’s just focus on the important issue here: that guy was clueless.
My new show opens tonight, so I thought I’d get a little personal.
Guess what? I am.
Guess what else? Surprise! I don’t look for a parent in my boyfriend. Sometimes this site is cathartic for me, too.
Never let somebody else tell you who or what to be. Especially not in the name of love. That’s not love.
thingsmyexsaid 