You meet someone you like. You crush for a long time. They like you back. Sparks! Victory! Hurrah!
You go on a date. At the end of the night, the moment comes…
Seriously, what is the point? Only prudish granny kissing, please! And when we hold hands, if yours could go for the “limp noodle”, that’d be great.
…And get those fingers out of my hair.
You know, sometimes it’s okay to just agree and say “yeah, that would be cool.”
This was one of those times.
Sometimes your next love interest can feel inadequate when it comes to the people you’ve dated before. Sometimes, that sense of inadequacy leaks out in a defensive jumble.
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Are you though? Are you different? You ended up on this website, so clearly something went wrong. Maybe she needed to realize you were totally insecure.
And she didn’t even get a car. How sad. What good is a relationship without a getaway vehicle?
Eventually, you reach that point in a crumbling relationship where even routine physical intimacy becomes too much of a chore.
Oh wow! Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that? Honey, you’re a genius. Way to skirt the issue.
Facepalm.
This might be the worst compliment ever. Not because there is anything wrong with size 4 or any other size out there, but because he’s using the compliment to make himself sound like a better person by hinting that he might be the best she can get.
She might as well have said, “I really love your face. A lot of women don’t like it, but I enjoy being with someone who’s less attractive than me.”
Love comes with patience and understanding. . .
. . . Except when the man you’re dating thinks he’s twelve. You owe her one oversized stuffed animal from the water gun game, buddy!
If there is one thing exes aren’t good for, it’s swag.
Wait a minute, the next guy you date is supposed to be less of a tool. This is backwards.
Okay. Let’s get one thing straight. She looks good.
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Don’t criticize my hair. That’s my mother’s job.
There’s that heart-fluttering moment when you look at your sweetheart and think, “what a man.”
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. . .Don’t hold your breath.
This new year, I think I just might make the resolution to keep my big mouth shut.
Nah… that’s not gonna happen.
You guys. I just caught up on quote submissions over the weekend. And let me tell you. 2014 is going to be a wild ride. You folks have had some terrible relationships! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
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