Happy Valentine’s Day! One year ago today this little blog was born. And what a year it’s been! I couldn’t have done it, quite literally, without all of you. Thank you for your quotes and your input! Hopefully we’ve all had a chance to laugh at some cringe-worthy memories and make them a little less painful.
Coming up in 2014 we’ve got some big plans for Things My Ex Said! Stay tuned for guest artists, new levels of horrible exes, and so much more. But first, in honor of the Day of Love, here is the grossest, weirdest, least romantic quote I may have ever read.
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The non sequitur. The presumption. The….herpes. Who is this person, and how do we keep him from ever telling someone she is “going to have to learn to love” his herpes, ever again? Listen, guy: It doesn’t matter which hole you’re aiming for. Keep that diseased stick and it’s entitled attitude zipped up.
Nobody is going to learn to love your herpes until you love yourself. Happy Valentine’s Day!
It you are having doubts about your relationship, ladies, remember to check your meds first.
Wow honey, you’re right! This doesn’t have anything to do with us as a couple, and your avoidance of answering my question clearly means nothing! It’s just my silly lady hormones clouding my brain and making me moody again! How could I ever take care of myself without you?
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid! And don’t forget to check back tomorrow for the final installment in our Valentine’s Day Countdown!
You gotta love the break ups that are full of flattery. “Oh my God. You smell amazing! No no no, don’t get any closer to me or I might throw up. But that smell… wow! You should be really happy with yourself.”
Break Ups 101: Don’t spend the first part of your break up conversation making out with your target.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid! And don’t forget to check back tomorrow for the next installment in our Valentine’s Day Countdown!
The countdown to Valentine’s Day continues!
Today we’re doing something brand new. This is the first quote posted here on TMXS that did not, I repeat, did not actually happen! (At least, to the best of my knowledge…) But I’ve included this quote here because this is something I find myself wishing I’ve said. And I realized that none of the quotes on here vilify me. But I’m sure there are horrible, thoughtless, crazy things I’ve said and have just conveniently buffed them over in my memory.
But this is something I’ve wanted to say more than once. And, quite frankly, I think it makes a perfectly legitimate dealbreaker.
And there you have it. A window into my dark pedantic soul.
It’s almost Valentine’s Day! And in honor of Friday’s impending Hallmark holiday, we will be posting one new comic every day this week!
Kicking off the fun is this guy:
His logic is flawless.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
You know, sometimes it’s okay to just agree and say “yeah, that would be cool.”
This was one of those times.
Congratulations for Teesha44 for winning the title of Best Worst Break Up!!! You’ve turned that lemon of an ex into some sweet, sugary lemonade! What did Teesha44 win? Well, besides getting to treasure the terrible memory forever with this comic strip below, Teesha44 wins a signed copy of the new book Axing My Exes, by Jerrica Zeron.
Click to Enlarge
Want to read the whole break up story? Read the full winning entry here. A huge thanks to everyone who submitted their stories. And a special thank you to Jerrica Zeron for including ThingsMyExSaid in her contest!
Still got a terrible quote? Don’t worry! It may not come with a signed (hilarious) book, but you can still submit your quotes for free all day, every day, right here. 🙂
Okay, so this isn’t a quote from somebody’s ex. But as I was matching some more 4-star quotes to comic strips this morning, I came across this:
From the 1950s comic strip Dream of Love, we see that yes, fat girls too can dream of love. Even in Hollywood! And don’t even let me get started on Dr. Anthony King, Hollywood Psychiatrist! Although, not gonna lie… “Hollywood Psychiatrist” would look almost as cool on a business card as “Doctor Cop”. I thought this comic was more than offensive enough on its own, so rather than pair it with a quote, I thought I’d let it stand alone on this special Saturday TMXS post!
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