Boys, as Christmas approaches. . . Whenever we say “Oh, don’t be silly, you don’t need to get me anything,” it means “I want to be so special to you that you had to get me something, even though I pretended not to be materialistic when I was trying to get you to stop playing video games and kiss me the other day.” That is what it means.
Consider today’s quote a cautionary tale.
I don’t blame you for not finding the right gift amongst the Spongebob Squarepants socks and blindingly neon lingerie of the mall, but how about flowers, you lazy f*ck?
So guys are just harder to pick presents for in general, in my opinion. Women can get flowers, bath stuff, jewelry, but for men there is less of a blanket of obvious gifts. On his birthday–forget cards, watches, sports memorabilia–nothing says love and devotion like when she talks to her ex on the phone for a long period of time.
Happy birthday, honey! I’m having serious second thoughts about you!