Yep . . .That IS what he said.

You don’t look…

As a recently-turned 28-year old, this reader submission pretty much sums up my (very first world) worst nightmare.

day over 30

Date over. Now. I need to go home, eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, drink half a bottle of Pinot Grigio and schedule a meeting with the undertaker to see if he can formaldehyde the crows feet off my face.

If I didn’t love you.

Ladies and gentlemen, the price of love:

IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU

You know we’ve all thought it, at one point or another.

I need therapy.

Worst version of “it’s not you, it’s me,” ever.

I need therapyYou’re not only so great, that I need to get as far away from you and possible and undergo an extensive mental overhaul. It’s going to take years, so. . . ya know. . . don’t call me.

Did you ever notice…

He’s a keen observer, this one.

How much tighter my ass is

She probably noticed the first time she saw him naked, and secretly hated her butt because of it. But nice of him to take his head out of his own tight ass and finally notice.

You’re pretty.

Wow. Guys, what not to say on a first date? It’s this.

I was talking about the chicken

And that chicken now has a better chance of getting lucky than you do. Surprise! The mirror can be cruel.

A year is a long time…

And then there was this guy.

A year is a long time

Yes. Yes, it is.

Boom goes the…

When you’re actually lucky enough to get laid, never say this.

Boom Goes the DynamiteNever.

You are too nice.

Some may say nice guys finish last, but in this case it sounds more like he dodged a bullet.

You are too nice to me

Yeah. Nice people? F*ck that.

It was really nice of you.

Ah, romance.

IT WAS REALLY NICE OF YOU

Got a romantic memory you are proud to say you’re ashamed of? Submit your quote here and see the scenes from your life immortalized in digital art!

I’ve never done this before…

Sometimes, there’s not much to say beyond, “yikes”.

Click to Enlarge!

Click to Enlarge!

Yep…. yikes.

Have you got a quote from a horrible ex or a terrible date? Submit your quote here and see the scenes from your life immortalized in digital art!