June is busting out all over! And so, perhaps, is she:
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Remember folks, fat girls are funny. And thin ladies, try not to steal their thunder! ….And no, that’s not a “fat pun” I just made.
Right…… Let’s just focus on the important issue here: that guy was clueless.
My new show opens tonight, so I thought I’d get a little personal.
Guess what? I am.
Guess what else? Surprise! I don’t look for a parent in my boyfriend. Sometimes this site is cathartic for me, too.
Never let somebody else tell you who or what to be. Especially not in the name of love. That’s not love.
And the ever classic, ever clueless:
It sort of has a timeless ring to it, doesn’t it? Almost poetic in its simplicity.
Ever have that ex who seemed to wish he was in Anonymous? Or at least seemed to suffer under the delusion that he was kind of a big deal?
Yeah. That’s sticking it to ’em.
In honor of flying back home to NYC today:
Really? Please. Just please.
In other news, this is the first TMXS update I’ve posted from an airport! And boy do I feel important, doing business on the go. On the fly? On the wing? I’m giddy with options! Or perhaps that’s just sleep deprivation. Anyways, home I go, and thankfully not to this guy.
Big news today from ThingsMyExSaid: We’re switching from posting twice a week to three times a week! Keep an eye out for new posts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!
And to celebrate, here’s a classy gent:
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So keep your stories coming on our submission page! We’ll be back on Wednesday with a new horrific comic.
That awkward moment when you run into the guy you thought would ask you to his fraternity semi-formal…at the fraternity semi formal.
And then when he still hits on you.
And by hits on you, he says this:
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Yes! Yes! Take me to see your big flat screen plasma TV!!
Okay, so it’s not my soulmate. But I did find a new hummus this weekend that is to die for. Enough about me.
Found a new booty call? Slept together 4 days ago? This is one of those things you don’t want to hear him to say.
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Translation: “Our connection” = “I’d still really like to keep having sex with you.”
thingsmyexsaid 