Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Category Archives: Romance

This new year, I think I just might make the resolution to keep my big mouth shut.

What don't you like about me?

Nah… that’s not gonna happen.

You guys. I just caught up on quote submissions over the weekend. And let me tell you. 2014 is going to be a wild ride. You folks have had some terrible relationships! Thanks for sharing. 🙂


I’ll be taking next week off, folks! I’m traveling around Europe and probably going to be too hungover to even look at a computer screen. But since it’s winter and it’s cold, I wanted to leave you all with warm thoughts. To send us off, here’s a quote that makes me think of the sticky, sweaty, dusty, don’t-touch-me part of summertime.

starting to look like a lez

You’re right. Let me slip into that cute Banana Republic wrap dress I bought on sale for $80 and never wear because I’m afraid I’ll get pit stains in it. That will look great when I give the old mare a rub down.

That’s all for now, folks! Have a happy holiday and a great New Year. And remember, if you want to see quotes from your own misadventures in love up here in 2014, send them in!


You know what really turns me on? Whining.

haven't had sex in a while

Why don’t you whine some more and then I’ll go slip into something a little more comfortable.


This is almost like one of those marketing tactics where you drop a worse bomb so that your bad news doesn’t seem so bad. Almost.

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

Oh wait. That’s way f*cking worse.


This guy probably had the best of intentions… but he loses all points in the delivery.

ruin you for other men

“Get ready, because I’m marking you as mine. Your body is about to go to from wonderland to wasteland in five…four…three…two…”

Let’s just hope he can chill out enough to stop thinking of “all other men” while they’re in the bedroom.


Nothing like security, right? Job security, financial security, relationship security….

NO ONE ELSEI’d start worrying now, if I were you.


Let’s play the game Marry, F*ck, or Kill.

It's you I think about

Guess which one you make me want to do.


Continuing the saga from Wednesday…

You're not perfect

I’ll settle for you, baby.


Don’t you love the getting-to-know-each-other phase? When you can ask all those questions about what pets you like, and where your favorite restaurant is, and whether you believe in soul mates?

I believe in romanceWelp, I suppose that’s true.

I don’t know about you ladies, but I like to go into a first date armed with a list of things I won’t do. Somewhere between the salad and the entrée is usually the right time to mention things like, “You’re never going to do me in the butt, by the way.” If possible, try to wait until he’s taken a big gulp of his drink.


The setting goes as follows. Guy asks girl to go on a trip with him. Girl agrees. Trip is booked. Guy gets weird.

What are you afraid of?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

For those of you keeping up with me, the transatlantic move was successful! Henceforth, ThingsMyExSaid will post every Monday-Wednesday-Friday morning in Greenwich Mean Time! Cheers!



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