Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Category Archives: Romance

I’m having trouble following his logic.

Sex-only relationship

I suppose we can’t blame him for trying. Wait a minute. Yes, we can.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Ah, modern standards of beauty.

Wendy's girl

“You’re no cartoon face of a corporate brand, but I could still eat.”

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


There are just some things you can’t re-gift. Check that. There are many things you can’t re-gift.

(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

Seriously, guy, what part of that seemed like a good idea? No, she doesn’t want your ex-girlfriend’s bling. No, she doesn’t want to know you keep your ex-girlfriend’s bling. Yes, you’re probably going to have to surprise her with a real present to make up for this.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Ah, love. Who doesn’t love to be in love? And to be loved in return? No strings, no ifs or clauses, just pure and simple love.

different definitions of love

Let me guess. His definition involves sleeping with other people.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Ew.

feminine curves

Put on your hat. I can still see your stupid face.

…But that’s just my knee-jerk reaction. Reasons why I’m single?


One thing I’m a big fan of in relationships is consistency.

tightest lay

Is the lesson here: how quickly one can forget the good times? Or how easy it is to lie when you’re trying to get laid?

Hope you’ve all got your tickets, because tonight’s final performance of Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret is sold out! Can’t wait to play to another packed house in Glasgow tonight! It’s been such a blast, and cannot wait to share some highlights with you folks online, very soon!


If you’ve been following TMXS for any length of time, you may have found yourself wondering, “Wow, I wonder what it’s like to actually date this crazy woman? Does anyone dare to? They must just be terrified to say anything in front of her!”

Aren't that interesting

Yep, I’m an asshole, too.

Men I date post TMXS seem to fall into one of 2 categories:
1. They become obsessed with the idea that everything they say will show up on this website. To which the answer is simple: don’t say anything asinine, and you’re safe! Also, luckily, submissions from readers like you are what actually keep this site going. Even my love life isn’t so sad as to warrant 3 quotes a week for 15 months.

2: They are so determined to show me how okay they are with this website, that they submit their own quotes of shitty things their exes have said. This *may* have become my new favorite way to flirt.

Planning a trip to Scotland this month? Of COURSE you are! Come see me bring your favorite quotes to life in ThingsMyExSaid: the Cabaret! May 12th and 16th, 7:30 PM in the Grand Ballroom at Sloan’s Glasgow. Part of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland’s Candid Cabaret Series.



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