This might be the ultimate version of “it’s not you, it’s me.”
You’ve actually made me allergic to people. Congratulations for making me want to give up on life. But really, it’s me.
May you never be in a relationship that gets to this point:
Have an intimate and affectionate weekend, everybody! Whatever that means to you. Unfortunately for her, it meant some naked time.
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Why don’t you split some more hairs? They’re getting thin enough on top of that big head of yours. Oh wait. Now I’m acting like a bitch.
Be sure to check back on Friday to see the winning quote from our Best Worst Break Up Contest!
The setting goes as follows. Guy asks girl to go on a trip with him. Girl agrees. Trip is booked. Guy gets weird.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
For those of you keeping up with me, the transatlantic move was successful! Henceforth, ThingsMyExSaid will post every Monday-Wednesday-Friday morning in Greenwich Mean Time! Cheers!
I feel like this is a relationship version of, “All our employees matter to the company, but we’re still considering laying you off in our next downsizing.”
And we all know, when you need something, that’s a responsibility.
Sometimes, after a break up, you get that rare chance to sit down with the person in question and talk through a postmortem of what went wrong.
Translation of the above: “I’ve come to realize that I need to date a lost, sniveling, codependent shell of a woman, so that I don’t feel threatened and can keep her coming back. What I really don’t want is someone who can take care of herself. The fact that she considers herself whole without me totally destroys my perception of self, which is that I need to be bigger than you.”
“. . . . . . . . Right.”
It’s back-to-school time! And that means all over the world, reluctant kids are stuffing their feet into shiny new light-up sneakers. But sometimes, a fully fledged grown up wants to go back to the classroom and improve her skill-set. And when that happens, it’s so great to have support and encouragement from the one she loves.
…Or that.
Because when somebody else seeks counseling, it’s all about you.
Anyone else thinking of the shrink Don Draper hires for Sally in Mad Men? My advice would be not to take any recommendations from this guy.
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