Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Category Archives: Clueless

It’s been a little while since we had a quote where the girl was the obvious asshole. I think this one makes up for the dry spell.

A couple months into exclusively dating…

Mother may have cancer

Ladies, what is it with you and cancer? Or is it with mothers? We have a terrible track record, here! So much for us being pegged as overly nurturing. It’s not like the guy asked you to fly home with him!

Also…. can we talk about how scary thin her waist is in this drawing? I guess I’d be a heinous bitch if my waist was the size of my bicep, too.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


If you’re as big a fan of Arrested Development as I am, you know there are few things better than a good incest joke. But perhaps not when the butt of the joke is you.

Brother and Sister

Okay. first of all, would anyone even question why two people have the same last name? I mean, you’re married. Duh. Second of all, why is that funny? And if you aren’t married and have the same last name–well, that’s cool, but you might want to just double check that family tree and be sure. And 3rd of all…. does he really think that’s clever? You might want to look into whether there’s something to be said for kissing cousins and IQ, after all.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Your wife is pregnant. Congratulations! Now, guest artist “O” reminds us to never, ever say this:

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

Seriously. You might as well relocate to the garage, because the sleeping on the couch is officially too good for you.

Want to see more of this artist’s work? Check out www.0thehumanity.tumblr.com to see his full range of comics! Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Let me clear up one mystery of the mythology of Woman. When we’re little, around 7 or 8 years old, we discover we fall into a category: we can be pretty, or we can be smart. Sometimes, life chooses for us. Other times, it’s a conscious choice we make that shapes the entirety of our lives. But never, never can a girl be both.

More intelligent than I thought

Oh wait. That’s pure and utter bullshit.

Thanks, guy. I’m glad you came in with low expectations!

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


It’s almost Valentine’s Day! And in honor of Friday’s impending Hallmark holiday, we will be posting one new comic every day this week!

Kicking off the fun is this guy:

Lie so you don't get upset

His logic is flawless.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Sometimes, life gives your relationship a test. In this case, we observe how this boyfriend and girlfriend would fare when it comes to the “in sickness and in health” part of a marriage vow.

heart condition

Yikes. Better luck next time.

We’ll forgive that she refers to herself in the third person as “your beloved” for now, seeing as she’s nursing a heart condition. But maybe I should try that. “Hey honey, want to meet your beloved for a coffee after work?. . . No? Well your beloved misses you!” …Sounds like the setup for a horror movie.

Stay tuned next week for five full days of TMXS!


Surprise! You’re the “other woman”.

never said my divorce was final

Listen. When I took you out to dinner and brought you home, I thought you were doing that with the knowledge that my soon-to-be-ex-wife will be stopping by in the morning to pick up more of her stuff. Oh, and please disregard her panties hanging up to dry in the bathroom. You didn’t know I still had a wife? Well. That’s your fault. You should have checked my facebook  relationship status.


If there is one thing exes aren’t good for, it’s swag.

famous photographer

Wait a minute, the next guy you date is supposed to be less of a tool. This is backwards.


Boys, as Christmas approaches. . . Whenever we say “Oh, don’t be silly, you don’t need to get me anything,” it means “I want to be so special to you that you had to get me something, even though I pretended not to be materialistic when I was trying to get you to stop playing video games and kiss me the other day.” That is what it means.

Consider today’s quote a cautionary tale.

Didn't get me anything for my birthday

I don’t blame you for not finding the right gift amongst the Spongebob Squarepants socks and blindingly neon lingerie of the mall, but how about flowers, you lazy f*ck?


Gentlemen, when flirting with a gal it’s important to lead with your best foot forward.

Some girls are HOT

It’s important to me to know where I stand in the hierarchy of hotness at any given time. Thanks for the update.



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