Are you a sentimentalist or a pragmatist when it comes to a break up? Do you keep the mementos, or sell them to the highest bidder?
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Guess we’re going sentimental on this one.
It’s ThingsMyExSaid‘s 100th post!! Oh my gosh! We’re so old! And to celebrate, I thought what better way than to share one of my personal favorites. I’ve been saving this one for a special day. I think you can guess why.
Note to self: if he’s making it onto this website before he’s your ex, he should be your ex.
Got a quote you’d like to share? Send in your quotes and see that lemon of an ex turned into comedic lemonade!
Fair enough.
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No, certainly not. Why would she do that?
But seriously. If there were ever an excuse for being a bitch, isn’t “you cheated on me” the case?
This might be the ultimate version of “it’s not you, it’s me.”
You’ve actually made me allergic to people. Congratulations for making me want to give up on life. But really, it’s me.
Congratulations for Teesha44 for winning the title of Best Worst Break Up!!! You’ve turned that lemon of an ex into some sweet, sugary lemonade! What did Teesha44 win? Well, besides getting to treasure the terrible memory forever with this comic strip below, Teesha44 wins a signed copy of the new book Axing My Exes, by Jerrica Zeron.
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Want to read the whole break up story? Read the full winning entry here. A huge thanks to everyone who submitted their stories. And a special thank you to Jerrica Zeron for including ThingsMyExSaid in her contest!
Still got a terrible quote? Don’t worry! It may not come with a signed (hilarious) book, but you can still submit your quotes for free all day, every day, right here. 🙂
Not really. Apparently it’s on the table. And that is NOT OKAY!
ThingsMyExSaid is teaming up with author Jerrica Zeron, to celebrate her new book, Axing my Exes: A story of wine, bodies, & baggage…did I already mention wine?. Think you’ve got the best worst break up story? Send in your story and you could win a signed copy of the book! Guess what else you’ll win… a featured comic right here on the site! And the street cred of knowing that you have the best worst break up story ever.
The contest runs until September 25th, so check out all the details right here!
Alright. It’s time to learn a strange bit of trivia about me.
So I have this pattern of being dumped when a terrible, horrendous disaster occurs close to my home. Seriously. The guy I’m with realizes the world is going to end and that he’d rather die alone than anywhere near me. The first time this happened, he was my first serious boyfriend in high school. You know, that one.
Usually I like to leave you guessing as to which are the quotes from my own life, and which are reader submissions. But today is a special case. And believe me, I wouldn’t post this quote if I didn’t know with 100% certainly that it was real.
You just can’t make this stuff up, folks. And I suppose, in some small way, that was the start of how ThingsMyExSaid was born.
Sometimes, after a break up, you get that rare chance to sit down with the person in question and talk through a postmortem of what went wrong.
Translation of the above: “I’ve come to realize that I need to date a lost, sniveling, codependent shell of a woman, so that I don’t feel threatened and can keep her coming back. What I really don’t want is someone who can take care of herself. The fact that she considers herself whole without me totally destroys my perception of self, which is that I need to be bigger than you.”
“. . . . . . . . Right.”
When boinking your girlfriend just isn’t an option…
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No shit, Sherlock.
thingsmyexsaid 