Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Tag Archives: wtf

It’s great when you feel secure in the knowledge that your partner loves you just the way you are.

You should go lower than that

Or that. While you’re at it, if you could lose the weight, bleach your hair, grow some tits, and fix your teeth…. yeah, that would be okay.

Happy Friday! This weekend’s challenge is to not be an asshole. Good luck! I see I have already failed.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


There’s nothing like the special bond of trust between two lovers.

Email 3 months ago

Must be.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


We’ve talked on this website before about what happens when you put on a “happy couple weight“. But add in the factor that your significant other may be a serial killer?

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(Click to enlarge)

They say people at risk for suicide are more likely to go through with it if they have a clear plan.

Guessing the same holds true for killing other people, as well. The joke’s on him, though! Looks like even with a plan it won’t be easy–after all, he would have to use both hands.

Got a stupid ex? Want something they said to live on in digital infamy? Submit your quotes to Things My Ex Said!


I don’t even know if this can qualify as a backhanded compliment, as I have yet to see where the “compliment” part is. I guess she’s tall?

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(Click to enlarge)

Ugh. How many shades of this man are we going to see on this website? Men, can you get it through your heads that alluding to someone being too fat is just not okay? Yes, even if you are a doctor. Save it for the clinic. You leave me to imagine that you think I’m pretty, and I’ll leave you to imagine it’s okay to have two chocolate croissants for breakfast. And we’ll both die of the American Condition early, but happy.

Or, you know, keep picking on your loved one’s nose and thighs and feet and upper arms. What do I know? I’m just a voice on the internet.

Speaking of voice, rehearsals for Things My Ex Said: The Cabaret are going great!!! I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it! Performing on Monday, 12 May and  Friday, 16 May at 7:30 PM at the Grand Ballroom in Sloan’s, Glasgow. Come see your favorite quotes brought to life against a backdrop of badass 90’s tunes. Tickets on sale now!

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


It’s been a little while since we had a quote where the girl was the obvious asshole. I think this one makes up for the dry spell.

A couple months into exclusively dating…

Mother may have cancer

Ladies, what is it with you and cancer? Or is it with mothers? We have a terrible track record, here! So much for us being pegged as overly nurturing. It’s not like the guy asked you to fly home with him!

Also…. can we talk about how scary thin her waist is in this drawing? I guess I’d be a heinous bitch if my waist was the size of my bicep, too.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Adultery is totally cool, but don’t you dare take the name of our Lord in vain.

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(click to enlarge)

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!



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