It’s always extra awkward to break up with someone around a major holiday or birthday, anniversary, etc. But when you add in the complication of a terrible disease? The rules of conduct just don’t exist.
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You want to feel bad for her. And him. But not him. But her. But him. But fuck him! But how can you say fuck him? He has cancer! My brain! It’s melting! My compassion doesn’t know what to do with this situation! I’m going cross-eyed.
How about this. Don’t use people? Period. Live life to the fullest extent you can, and if your fullest life isn’t envisioned with that supportive person, let that person go. Or if you get a new chance at life, live it with integrity… but maybe figure it out before you accept all the birthday presents.
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Sometimes, you meet someone who’s just a little bit too much like one of your exes. Or that bully from middle school. Or someone who is in no way related to you.
So… like, he’s married?
Just kidding. But seriously, if your brother (or sister) snagged a catch like her, what’s the problem? Unless his sister in law is a neurotic hag known for her fiendish halitosis.
This is the male version of playing dress up:
“You’re fun to play dress up in, but I wouldn’t actually wear you to the prom.”
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Ah, love. Who doesn’t love to be in love? And to be loved in return? No strings, no ifs or clauses, just pure and simple love.
Let me guess. His definition involves sleeping with other people.
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It’s great when you feel secure in the knowledge that your partner loves you just the way you are.
Or that. While you’re at it, if you could lose the weight, bleach your hair, grow some tits, and fix your teeth…. yeah, that would be okay.
Happy Friday! This weekend’s challenge is to not be an asshole. Good luck! I see I have already failed.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
Not to knock the power of prayer, or any sort of spirituality… But when you’re dissolving an engagement, the futility of your messages to God aren’t going to make her feel any better.
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Yeah, “sorry” isn’t gonna cut it, either.
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When Things My Ex Said and Tinder collide… the results are exactly what you’d expect.
Music to bondage? Seems like a reasonable segue to me. Isn’t the “getting to know you” stage grand? At least he got right to the point.
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I’ve spent all week reading articles on the terrible shooting in Santa Barbara, and trying to select which ones I would post on behalf of Things My Ex Said. Reading all the comment trails, feeling furious alongside my fellow feminists, soaking in messages of despair and of hope, and all the time asking myself, Why? Why? Why? What can we do? What can I do? Well, here’s this blog, right? I can keep reaching out to the people who have stories to share and helping them heal through laughter and see that they’re not alone.
And each time I’ve lined up an article to post and highlight, and gone to attach it through social media, I’ve just felt sick. And I’ve stopped myself. I couldn’t figure out why–I mean, here I am, trying to grow this little site. Shouldn’t I be feasting on the frenzy of discussion going on right now about gender roles and expectations in our culture? That’s what at least half of these quotes are about!
And there are so many examples here of men expecting women to have sex with them. Of the sense of entitlement that’s in the spotlight right now. Attention is being paid to the injuries that don’t leave bruises or scars. I could have been re-posting comics all week about normative objectification and what happens when we learn misogyny through the movies. But six women are dead. Scores more lives have been shattered. My home country is bleeding. The girls in Nigeria remain captive. The “honor killings” and hangings and gang rapings continue. And a couple weeks ago I was asked for “break up sex”. The absurdity is astounding. And it’s all become too much like a dance we know all the steps to.
I get the irony of posting on here about not wanting to post on here. But since the site says “every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday”, and I missed Wednesday without explanation, I knew it was time to post something. The stories we share on this website–men and women alike, are all part of drawing attention to the Problem. The thoughtless things we say are just that: thoughtless. It’s so easy these days to let someone else do your thinking for you. But no comics today. They are important, but we’ll be back with them on Monday. Laughter can heal, but sometimes you need to cry.
There’s nothing like the special bond of trust between two lovers.
Must be.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
Ew.
Put on your hat. I can still see your stupid face.
…But that’s just my knee-jerk reaction. Reasons why I’m single?
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