This is the male version of playing dress up:
“You’re fun to play dress up in, but I wouldn’t actually wear you to the prom.”
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Ah, love. Who doesn’t love to be in love? And to be loved in return? No strings, no ifs or clauses, just pure and simple love.
Let me guess. His definition involves sleeping with other people.
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It’s great when you feel secure in the knowledge that your partner loves you just the way you are.
Or that. While you’re at it, if you could lose the weight, bleach your hair, grow some tits, and fix your teeth…. yeah, that would be okay.
Happy Friday! This weekend’s challenge is to not be an asshole. Good luck! I see I have already failed.
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Not to knock the power of prayer, or any sort of spirituality… But when you’re dissolving an engagement, the futility of your messages to God aren’t going to make her feel any better.
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Yeah, “sorry” isn’t gonna cut it, either.
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When Things My Ex Said and Tinder collide… the results are exactly what you’d expect.
Music to bondage? Seems like a reasonable segue to me. Isn’t the “getting to know you” stage grand? At least he got right to the point.
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I’ve spent all week reading articles on the terrible shooting in Santa Barbara, and trying to select which ones I would post on behalf of Things My Ex Said. Reading all the comment trails, feeling furious alongside my fellow feminists, soaking in messages of despair and of hope, and all the time asking myself, Why? Why? Why? What can we do? What can I do? Well, here’s this blog, right? I can keep reaching out to the people who have stories to share and helping them heal through laughter and see that they’re not alone.
And each time I’ve lined up an article to post and highlight, and gone to attach it through social media, I’ve just felt sick. And I’ve stopped myself. I couldn’t figure out why–I mean, here I am, trying to grow this little site. Shouldn’t I be feasting on the frenzy of discussion going on right now about gender roles and expectations in our culture? That’s what at least half of these quotes are about!
And there are so many examples here of men expecting women to have sex with them. Of the sense of entitlement that’s in the spotlight right now. Attention is being paid to the injuries that don’t leave bruises or scars. I could have been re-posting comics all week about normative objectification and what happens when we learn misogyny through the movies. But six women are dead. Scores more lives have been shattered. My home country is bleeding. The girls in Nigeria remain captive. The “honor killings” and hangings and gang rapings continue. And a couple weeks ago I was asked for “break up sex”. The absurdity is astounding. And it’s all become too much like a dance we know all the steps to.
I get the irony of posting on here about not wanting to post on here. But since the site says “every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday”, and I missed Wednesday without explanation, I knew it was time to post something. The stories we share on this website–men and women alike, are all part of drawing attention to the Problem. The thoughtless things we say are just that: thoughtless. It’s so easy these days to let someone else do your thinking for you. But no comics today. They are important, but we’ll be back with them on Monday. Laughter can heal, but sometimes you need to cry.
There’s nothing like the special bond of trust between two lovers.
Must be.
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Ew.
Put on your hat. I can still see your stupid face.
…But that’s just my knee-jerk reaction. Reasons why I’m single?
We’ve talked on this website before about what happens when you put on a “happy couple weight“. But add in the factor that your significant other may be a serial killer?
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They say people at risk for suicide are more likely to go through with it if they have a clear plan.
Guessing the same holds true for killing other people, as well. The joke’s on him, though! Looks like even with a plan it won’t be easy–after all, he would have to use both hands.
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A lot of attention is paid to pick-up lines. Particularly, bad pick-up lines. But attention should also be paid to “put-down” lines. There’s an art to letting someone down easy. And a tactless put-down leaves you flat on your ass.
This guy sounds like he took his lessons from classic movies… which, I suppose, isn’t the worst place to draw from. But it earned him no points in the tact department.
“Here’s lookin’ at you, kid. Or rather, here’s to not having to look at you ever again.”
Speaking of over, Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret closed to packed houses in Glasgow this weekend! We had a fantastic time. Stay tuned for pictures and video to follow!
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