This might be one of my favorite break up excuses, ever.
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Well, he’s got a type, ladies!
My new show opens tonight, so I thought I’d get a little personal.
Guess what? I am.
Guess what else? Surprise! I don’t look for a parent in my boyfriend. Sometimes this site is cathartic for me, too.
Never let somebody else tell you who or what to be. Especially not in the name of love. That’s not love.
Now, fun fact: I happen to agree with him. Actually spending every waking moment with this guy sounds like some kind of terrible. But he loses points for delivery. Because, quite frankly, nobody wants to date the literal doctor. Well, okay, Linsday does. But let’s face it, she sets the bar pretty low.
Happy Memorial Day! I hope everybody enjoyed Arrested Development Day yesterday! I want you all to appreciate that it’s taking every ounce of my self control right now not to turn this entire website into pure Arrested Development fan fiction.
And now, without further ado, here’s some jerk one of you dated:
At least she knows what she wants! Oh wait . . .
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Yeah. Maybe it’s arbitrary and snobbish, but for people who live in New York City, that’s a deal-breaker.
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Yes. Yes she did. Absolutely. And please note: if you find yourself backed into this kind of corner, use of the word “empirically” isn’t going to help you, it will only make you sound even douchier.
Certain things just don’t ring well in the bedroom.
I’m going to say chances are, she did know. Chances are, she agreed with him. But perhaps that was something better discussed over tea. . . or at least breakfast.
Today I’d like to ask this question: what is a modern relationship? It’s pretty clear what it meant to this guy:
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But is there really something worth being called a “modern relationship”? Are relationships so different today that they deserve this title? Or are we only having the same relationships we’ve always had, in a modern setting?
I’d like to think a truly “modern relationship” is ideally post-feminist one, where lovers are partners in a truer sense of the word than ever before. But you can’t read the news or watch TV without knowing that post-feminism isn’t remotely close to where we’ve arrived, as a people. But it makes me sad to think, that to some people, the idea of modernity and fidelity are not only set apart from each other, but possibly even opposites. Or is it possible, in this day of statuses and tweeting and “liking” as a button rather than a feeling, that the offender above meant a modern relationship was one that lacked any interpersonal investment at all?
But really, all of this begs the question to me: if that is a modern relationship, what the hell is post-modern relationship? Cave-man-esque scenes are brought to mind. Or is that love with robots?
Who said romance was dead? Hmm, probably this guy.
They say that marriage dulls the excitement, but it looks like this guy got over it way back in high school.
Big news today from ThingsMyExSaid: We’re switching from posting twice a week to three times a week! Keep an eye out for new posts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!
And to celebrate, here’s a classy gent:
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So keep your stories coming on our submission page! We’ll be back on Wednesday with a new horrific comic.
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