I feel like this is a relationship version of, “All our employees matter to the company, but we’re still considering laying you off in our next downsizing.”
And we all know, when you need something, that’s a responsibility.
Alright. It’s time to learn a strange bit of trivia about me.
So I have this pattern of being dumped when a terrible, horrendous disaster occurs close to my home. Seriously. The guy I’m with realizes the world is going to end and that he’d rather die alone than anywhere near me. The first time this happened, he was my first serious boyfriend in high school. You know, that one.
Usually I like to leave you guessing as to which are the quotes from my own life, and which are reader submissions. But today is a special case. And believe me, I wouldn’t post this quote if I didn’t know with 100% certainly that it was real.
You just can’t make this stuff up, folks. And I suppose, in some small way, that was the start of how ThingsMyExSaid was born.
Sometimes, after a break up, you get that rare chance to sit down with the person in question and talk through a postmortem of what went wrong.
Translation of the above: “I’ve come to realize that I need to date a lost, sniveling, codependent shell of a woman, so that I don’t feel threatened and can keep her coming back. What I really don’t want is someone who can take care of herself. The fact that she considers herself whole without me totally destroys my perception of self, which is that I need to be bigger than you.”
“. . . . . . . . Right.”
Sometimes, enough is enough.
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My question is, what is he going to do with all those Coach purses? (Please say use them, please say use them!)
Worst version of “it’s not you, it’s me,” ever.
You’re not only so great, that I need to get as far away from you and possible and undergo an extensive mental overhaul. It’s going to take years, so. . . ya know. . . don’t call me.
Some may say nice guys finish last, but in this case it sounds more like he dodged a bullet.
Yeah. Nice people? F*ck that.
Sometimes, there’s not much to say beyond, “yikes”.
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Yep…. yikes.
Have you got a quote from a horrible ex or a terrible date? Submit your quote here and see the scenes from your life immortalized in digital art!
Are you serious?
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Here’s a tip for getting your mom’s present back from your girlfriend. Don’t give your mom’s present to your girlfriend.
thingsmyexsaid 