Gag.
Ohmigosh! As a matter of fact, it was! How’d you guess? You must read my mind. That’s because we are purrrrfect together. Best pickup line, ever! Here are my panties.
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Children clearly fall under the category of Very Big Deal. Nevermind your own, putting up with somebody else’s kids would be a lot to ask.
But there has to be a better way to say this.
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Sometimes, it’s just nice to know you’re appreciated.
Chances are, that could be true. In fact, I think I’ve even seen quirky Valentine’s cards with the same sentiment written on them. But unless you get away with that kind of humor, you don’t get away with that kind of humor. And since this quote got submitted to Things My Ex Said, I’m guessing he didn’t get away with it, in the long run.
To some people, I guess size really is everything.
Well, let’s see, let me break out my measuring tape….
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It’s good for people to understand their priorities in relationships.
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This has got to be one of the hands down worst ways of explaining to someone that she isn’t pretty enough to be your girlfriend. Also, this whole list thing is just pretty cringe-y in general. Might as well call this “10 Things I Wish I Loved About You.”
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In every casual dating situation, there comes that moment when it’s time to take the next step and become exclusive.
…Or not.
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May that little hardened lump of carbon bring him much happiness. This lady will never look at the Tiffany’s shop window in the same way again.
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Ah, modern standards of beauty.
“You’re no cartoon face of a corporate brand, but I could still eat.”
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There are just some things you can’t re-gift. Check that. There are many things you can’t re-gift.
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Seriously, guy, what part of that seemed like a good idea? No, she doesn’t want your ex-girlfriend’s bling. No, she doesn’t want to know you keep your ex-girlfriend’s bling. Yes, you’re probably going to have to surprise her with a real present to make up for this.
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Sometimes, you meet someone who’s just a little bit too much like one of your exes. Or that bully from middle school. Or someone who is in no way related to you.
So… like, he’s married?
Just kidding. But seriously, if your brother (or sister) snagged a catch like her, what’s the problem? Unless his sister in law is a neurotic hag known for her fiendish halitosis.
This is the male version of playing dress up:
“You’re fun to play dress up in, but I wouldn’t actually wear you to the prom.”
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