Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Monthly Archives: May 2014

Things My Ex Said: The Cabaret opens tonight in Glasgow at Sloan’s! Come see your favorite quotes brought to life and hear some badass 90’s tunes! And you get to meet me in person, which is kinda fun.

I can’t believe we hit 1400 followers just in time for the show! What a great opening day surprise. Thanks, everybody! It makes me so happy you enjoy the site. I enjoy it, too. 🙂

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Tickets are available through the RCS Box Office. See you there!


If there is one archetype that hasn’t changed since the days of Jane Austen, it’s the Guy Who Doesn’t Call.

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(Click to enlarge)

Unless finishing House of Cards and wallowing in a resulting sense of general ennui as I try to figure out what to do with my spare time counts as something I’m “going through,” I have no idea what you mean. Am I having an existential crisis I know nothing about? What do you know about me that I don’t know?

Next week is the week! Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret opens Monday May 12th and Friday May 16th, 7:30 PM at Sloan’s in Glasgow! Part of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland’s Candid Cabaret Series. Come see your favorite quotes brought to life by Yours Truly and a fabulous cast!


I see what you’re trying to do here with your feminine wiles. You’re trying to snare me.

Entrapment

Umm… no dude. She probably just wants to know how likely you are to give her an STD.

Come see your favorite quotes brought to life NEXT WEEK in ThingsMyExSaid: the Cabaret! May 12th and 16th, 7:30 PM in the Grand Ballroom at Sloan’s Glasgow. Part of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland’s Candid Cabaret Series.


If you’ve been following TMXS for any length of time, you may have found yourself wondering, “Wow, I wonder what it’s like to actually date this crazy woman? Does anyone dare to? They must just be terrified to say anything in front of her!”

Aren't that interesting

Yep, I’m an asshole, too.

Men I date post TMXS seem to fall into one of 2 categories:
1. They become obsessed with the idea that everything they say will show up on this website. To which the answer is simple: don’t say anything asinine, and you’re safe! Also, luckily, submissions from readers like you are what actually keep this site going. Even my love life isn’t so sad as to warrant 3 quotes a week for 15 months.

2: They are so determined to show me how okay they are with this website, that they submit their own quotes of shitty things their exes have said. This *may* have become my new favorite way to flirt.

Planning a trip to Scotland this month? Of COURSE you are! Come see me bring your favorite quotes to life in ThingsMyExSaid: the Cabaret! May 12th and 16th, 7:30 PM in the Grand Ballroom at Sloan’s Glasgow. Part of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland’s Candid Cabaret Series.


Want tickets to the gun show?

Watch me masturbate

…I didn’t think so. Quite frankly, dude, it’s not that hard to figure out. Pun intended.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!



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