Fatalistic, much? 
Listen, honey. It’s me or solitude for the rest of your life. Peace out.
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Girl dates boy. Boy dumps girl. Boy gets beat up in a fight. Boy asks girl to come see him in the hospital. Girl takes an hour-long taxi ride by herself to come visit boy.
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Boy either wore off the meds, or fails at expressing himself, completely.
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To some people, I guess size really is everything.
Well, let’s see, let me break out my measuring tape….
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It’s good for people to understand their priorities in relationships.
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This has got to be one of the hands down worst ways of explaining to someone that she isn’t pretty enough to be your girlfriend. Also, this whole list thing is just pretty cringe-y in general. Might as well call this “10 Things I Wish I Loved About You.”
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In every casual dating situation, there comes that moment when it’s time to take the next step and become exclusive.
…Or not.
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May that little hardened lump of carbon bring him much happiness. This lady will never look at the Tiffany’s shop window in the same way again.
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I love a good non sequitur as much as the next geeky humorist, but this one makes no sense.
Excuse me, miss? He wasn’t talking about anything funny. Unless you’re so disturbed by his news that the only response your brain can handle is to completely deny reality, there’s no reason or excuse for having that be your reply. Shame on you.
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Ah, modern standards of beauty.
“You’re no cartoon face of a corporate brand, but I could still eat.”
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