First dates. That stressful time to make a good impression.
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I don’t know if this guy thought he was sounding educated, or jaded, or funny…. but whatever he was going for, it didn’t work.
You know what? Sometimes guys aren’t mean. Sometimes they think you’re smokin’ hot.
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No, guy. I think the question is, what else are you looking for? Because that nice body probably has a nice person inside. Or at least a nice face.
The narration here is actually still from the original comic. But the idiocy was all his.
The only time this answer is appropriate is when she chooses to dress as Lolita for Halloween. But…if she chooses to dress as Lolita for Halloween? Run.
Also, I love that the chick in the original comic was planning to use her gaping keyhole dress to manipulate Joe into doing…something. And everything has exclamation marks!
That one time you follow the instructions for an easy up-do in Cosmo.
Chances are, unless you met her on a ComicCon message board, she’s not going to love this compliment. But at least he didn’t say Star Wars!
As a recently-turned 28-year old, this reader submission pretty much sums up my (very first world) worst nightmare.
Date over. Now. I need to go home, eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, drink half a bottle of Pinot Grigio and schedule a meeting with the undertaker to see if he can formaldehyde the crows feet off my face.
June is busting out all over! And so, perhaps, is she:
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Remember folks, fat girls are funny. And thin ladies, try not to steal their thunder! ….And no, that’s not a “fat pun” I just made.
Right…… Let’s just focus on the important issue here: that guy was clueless.
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Yeah. Maybe it’s arbitrary and snobbish, but for people who live in New York City, that’s a deal-breaker.
Okay, so you know the old archetype of the artist and his muse? Well, who doesn’t secretly want to be a muse, really? I mean, when it comes down to it, wouldn’t it be pretty cool to inspire some hot, passionate person to create a work of art that reflects the awesomeness that is you? And all you have to do is sit there and be your fabulous self? Sign me up, right?
Or have you ever had that moment when you’re dating a musician and he plays you the new beautiful love song he’s written, and you think “Oh my gawd, this song is about me!” (a la the drunk girl from family guy)–until you get to the end of the song and it is, in fact, about a whiskey bottle?
Do you ever have that ex who thinks that just by the virtue that he made something, you would care? I mean, he’s feeling all these really deep feelings and expressing them and stuff, so it must be something that would interest you. And then this happens:
Congratulations, you wrote a story about yourself. Now here’s a hint: you’re not that interesting.
I know, I know, perhaps I’m not giving this one the benefit of the doubt. I mean, he tried and all. And clearly I’m all about that expressing yourself achieving catharsis garbage. But seriously? Seriously? You thought this would work?
Seems like when the moment comes and that song really is about you, 9 times out of 10 you would have been better off writing it yourself. Then at least it would be your crappy song.
Who said romance was dead? Hmm, probably this guy.
They say that marriage dulls the excitement, but it looks like this guy got over it way back in high school.
Big news today from ThingsMyExSaid: We’re switching from posting twice a week to three times a week! Keep an eye out for new posts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!
And to celebrate, here’s a classy gent:
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So keep your stories coming on our submission page! We’ll be back on Wednesday with a new horrific comic.
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