Sometimes, it’s just nice to know you’re appreciated.
Chances are, that could be true. In fact, I think I’ve even seen quirky Valentine’s cards with the same sentiment written on them. But unless you get away with that kind of humor, you don’t get away with that kind of humor. And since this quote got submitted to Things My Ex Said, I’m guessing he didn’t get away with it, in the long run.
Fatalistic, much? 
Listen, honey. It’s me or solitude for the rest of your life. Peace out.
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I’m having trouble following his logic.
I suppose we can’t blame him for trying. Wait a minute. Yes, we can.
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Girl dates boy. Boy dumps girl. Boy gets beat up in a fight. Boy asks girl to come see him in the hospital. Girl takes an hour-long taxi ride by herself to come visit boy.
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Boy either wore off the meds, or fails at expressing himself, completely.
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To some people, I guess size really is everything.
Well, let’s see, let me break out my measuring tape….
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In every casual dating situation, there comes that moment when it’s time to take the next step and become exclusive.
…Or not.
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May that little hardened lump of carbon bring him much happiness. This lady will never look at the Tiffany’s shop window in the same way again.
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I love a good non sequitur as much as the next geeky humorist, but this one makes no sense.
Excuse me, miss? He wasn’t talking about anything funny. Unless you’re so disturbed by his news that the only response your brain can handle is to completely deny reality, there’s no reason or excuse for having that be your reply. Shame on you.
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Ah, modern standards of beauty.
“You’re no cartoon face of a corporate brand, but I could still eat.”
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There are just some things you can’t re-gift. Check that. There are many things you can’t re-gift.
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Seriously, guy, what part of that seemed like a good idea? No, she doesn’t want your ex-girlfriend’s bling. No, she doesn’t want to know you keep your ex-girlfriend’s bling. Yes, you’re probably going to have to surprise her with a real present to make up for this.
Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!
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