Yep . . .That IS what he said.

Tag Archives: exes

Ah, modern standards of beauty.

Wendy's girl

“You’re no cartoon face of a corporate brand, but I could still eat.”

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


There are just some things you can’t re-gift. Check that. There are many things you can’t re-gift.

(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

Seriously, guy, what part of that seemed like a good idea? No, she doesn’t want your ex-girlfriend’s bling. No, she doesn’t want to know you keep your ex-girlfriend’s bling. Yes, you’re probably going to have to surprise her with a real present to make up for this.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Sometimes, you meet someone who’s just a little bit too much like one of your exes. Or that bully from middle school. Or someone who is in no way related to you.

remind me of my sister in law

So… like, he’s married?

Just kidding. But seriously, if your brother (or sister) snagged a catch like her, what’s the problem? Unless his sister in law is a neurotic hag known for her fiendish halitosis.


This is the male version of playing dress up:

a shit wife“You’re fun to play dress up in, but I wouldn’t actually wear you to the prom.”

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


It’s great when you feel secure in the knowledge that your partner loves you just the way you are.

You should go lower than that

Or that. While you’re at it, if you could lose the weight, bleach your hair, grow some tits, and fix your teeth…. yeah, that would be okay.

Happy Friday! This weekend’s challenge is to not be an asshole. Good luck! I see I have already failed.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


There’s nothing like the special bond of trust between two lovers.

Email 3 months ago

Must be.

Got a stupid ex? Want to see his or her quote up here in anonymous infamy? Submit your quote to ThingsMyExSaid!


Ew.

feminine curves

Put on your hat. I can still see your stupid face.

…But that’s just my knee-jerk reaction. Reasons why I’m single?


We’ve talked on this website before about what happens when you put on a “happy couple weight“. But add in the factor that your significant other may be a serial killer?

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(Click to enlarge)

They say people at risk for suicide are more likely to go through with it if they have a clear plan.

Guessing the same holds true for killing other people, as well. The joke’s on him, though! Looks like even with a plan it won’t be easy–after all, he would have to use both hands.

Got a stupid ex? Want something they said to live on in digital infamy? Submit your quotes to Things My Ex Said!


A lot of attention is paid to pick-up lines. Particularly, bad pick-up lines. But attention should also be paid to “put-down” lines. There’s an art to letting someone down easy. And a tactless put-down leaves you flat on your ass.

This guy sounds like he took his lessons from classic movies… which, I suppose, isn’t the worst place to draw from. But it earned him no points in the tact department.

Had a good run

“Here’s lookin’ at you, kid. Or rather, here’s to not having to look at you ever again.”

Speaking of over, Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret closed to packed houses in Glasgow this weekend! We had a fantastic time. Stay tuned for pictures and video to follow!


One thing I’m a big fan of in relationships is consistency.

tightest lay

Is the lesson here: how quickly one can forget the good times? Or how easy it is to lie when you’re trying to get laid?

Hope you’ve all got your tickets, because tonight’s final performance of Things My Ex Said: the Cabaret is sold out! Can’t wait to play to another packed house in Glasgow tonight! It’s been such a blast, and cannot wait to share some highlights with you folks online, very soon!



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