Deciding to break up with someone is rarely easy. After all, a lot of time and emotion has been invested into the relationship. But for one guy with an apparent flair for accounting, the choice was simple.
Insert dick joke here.
Are you a sentimentalist or a pragmatist when it comes to a break up? Do you keep the mementos, or sell them to the highest bidder?
Guess we’re going sentimental on this one.
The jocks and the geeks don’t mix! The jocks and the geeks don’t mix!
YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US!!!
Sometimes, there’s not much to say beyond, “yikes”.
Yep…. yikes.
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Yeah. Maybe it’s arbitrary and snobbish, but for people who live in New York City, that’s a deal-breaker.
Let’s face it: Long distance is hard. But don’t you love it when you and your significant other take that first step toward planning your life together?
Ah yes. The obvious conclusion!
Okay, so you know the old archetype of the artist and his muse? Well, who doesn’t secretly want to be a muse, really? I mean, when it comes down to it, wouldn’t it be pretty cool to inspire some hot, passionate person to create a work of art that reflects the awesomeness that is you? And all you have to do is sit there and be your fabulous self? Sign me up, right?
Or have you ever had that moment when you’re dating a musician and he plays you the new beautiful love song he’s written, and you think “Oh my gawd, this song is about me!” (a la the drunk girl from family guy)–until you get to the end of the song and it is, in fact, about a whiskey bottle?
Do you ever have that ex who thinks that just by the virtue that he made something, you would care? I mean, he’s feeling all these really deep feelings and expressing them and stuff, so it must be something that would interest you. And then this happens:
Congratulations, you wrote a story about yourself. Now here’s a hint: you’re not that interesting.
I know, I know, perhaps I’m not giving this one the benefit of the doubt. I mean, he tried and all. And clearly I’m all about that expressing yourself achieving catharsis garbage. But seriously? Seriously? You thought this would work?
Seems like when the moment comes and that song really is about you, 9 times out of 10 you would have been better off writing it yourself. Then at least it would be your crappy song.
I gave my artist the day off, so you get to enjoy a true original today! Something tells me I feel worse about my own shoddy art than than this guy feels about his personal preferences:
That’s like, serious. I hope he and his board were very happy together.









